RE: I need a therapist
August 23, 2016 at 10:21 am
(This post was last modified: August 23, 2016 at 10:23 am by The Grand Nudger.)
(August 23, 2016 at 10:08 am)Won2blv Wrote: She would be talking about the religion and god stuff. I still do have doubts about my doubts. But I think that I would be better off exploring those feelings on my own too. I do feel for her because we have been married for some time now. She is going to be sick over it but at the same time, I know she'll be ok because she'll have her "community" still.
Right, and it needs to be made clear that doubts, no doubts...god, no god, what doesn't change is that you no longer desire to be her husband. That were you to stay because "doubts" or "god" for example, she would be stuck in a show marriage. I'm sure she respects herself enough, and that you respect her enough, to understand why this won't work for either of you.
These things need to be separated firmly, and caringly - like two people that have spent alot of time together and care for each other might. As you said, she will have her community to talk the god stuff over with, if she feels the need. With them, it won't be an argument or an adversarial confrontation. With you, it would be...and it won't address the issue of your marriage regardless of the turnout.
"I don't know whether or not I believe in god, but I do know that I no longer wish to maintain this relationship as it is". Eh? This might, at least, reduce the level of anxiety and tension between you..which is going to be important in the course of a split.
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