http://www.borowitzreport.com/
Quote:NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Distraught at the news that Donald Trump will not seek the Republican nomination for President, the nation’s comedians took to the streets today, begging Mr. Trump to reconsider.
The largest gathering of comedians took place in Mr. Trump’s hometown of Manhattan, where an estimated crowd of 400,000 jokers marched on Trump Tower.
“I for one am devastated that Donald Trump has decided not to throw his hair in the ring,” said Jackie LaRossi, a comedian who is a regular at Manhattan’s Chuckle Barrel comedy club.