(September 21, 2016 at 11:10 pm)Esquilax Wrote:(September 21, 2016 at 11:00 pm)Losty Wrote: There's a limit. At some point no matter how good the intentions it's no longer fair to expect someone to continue bearing the negative outcomes.
I think it's worth noting that people don't really have bad intentions, in a moral sense. Nobody thinks of themselves as the villain in their own actions, we always have justifications for what we do that are internally consistent to us, even if they aren't factually or logically accurate. So it's more a matter of selfish intentions and unselfish ones, rather than good and bad.
The thing about good intentions, though, is that if you (generalized you, not you specifically) really have them toward a given person then the fact that they are experiencing what they perceive to be negative outcomes from your actions, is a factor in determining your actions going forward. Essentially, if you can recognize that well-intentioned actions are resulting in a net negative for the person you're acting toward, then adjusting those actions to produce a more favorable outcome for them should be a trivial request.
Persisting in a course of action because of good intentions means that the actions are more about you, than the person receiving them. They can't exactly be called good intentions, at that point.
Yep -- this is why listening was brought up earlier, and why it's so apt. Massaging ourselves with our good intentions, we can rub others raw.
