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Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 2:08 pm
My best friend says I start people at ten and then they have to work real hard to work their way down. He starts people at zero, and they have to earn their way up. While five would be a healthy balance, I think it’s true that I tend to meet people and find them fascinating quickly. I love to meet strangers and I take road trips often where my focus is sitting at breweries and people watching. I engage in conversations with odd people, interesting, unique, funny, funky, kind, intimidating, scary, ridiculous people. I always leave feeling richer for having met them and most of my current friends I met this way. My friend says half of the people I’ve met could be thieves, killers, rapists, bullshitters. It took him six months of me showing up at his favorite sports bar for him to let me move up on the 1-10 scale. Lol! I knew we’d be friends since day one, he knew after six months.
What’s your approach? Why? Is this voluntary, or can you not help it?
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 2:13 pm
I always start at 10. Seriously, if you're not a jerk, I will like you. And even if you are a jerk, it would take doing/saying something really crappy for me to actively dislike you.
....and then if you apologize or start being nice, you're a ten again.
Don't know why, just always been like this.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 2:16 pm
(November 24, 2017 at 2:13 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I always start at 10. Seriously, if you're not a jerk, I will like you. And even if you are a jerk, it would take doing/saying something really crappy for me to actively dislike you.
....and then if you apologize or start being nice, you're a ten again.
Don't know why, just always been like this.
Me too! I think I’m irreversibly disappointed, until they say sorry. Then boom! I like them again.
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 2:50 pm
(This post was last modified: November 24, 2017 at 2:58 pm by The Industrial Atheist.)
Well I often lack the confidence to initiate things. So often others have to introduce themselves. Then I'm like "OMG this cool person wants to be my friend!" Once that happens they are pretty high up on the scale. It's not that I'm unfriendly, I guess that stuff is awkward for me and I fear rejection.
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 3:00 pm
(This post was last modified: November 24, 2017 at 3:00 pm by Whateverist.)
(November 24, 2017 at 2:13 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I always start at 10. Seriously, if you're not a jerk, I will like you. And even if you are a jerk, it would take doing/saying something really crappy for me to actively dislike you.
....and then if you apologize or start being nice, you're a ten again.
Don't know why, just always been like this.
(November 24, 2017 at 2:16 pm)J a c k Wrote: (November 24, 2017 at 2:13 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I always start at 10. Seriously, if you're not a jerk, I will like you. And even if you are a jerk, it would take doing/saying something really crappy for me to actively dislike you.
....and then if you apologize or start being nice, you're a ten again.
Don't know why, just always been like this.
Me too! I think I’m irreversibly disappointed, until they say sorry. Then boom! I like them again.
You two would be awesome as gf's. ("I swear, that will be the last time!") I tend to start people high, maybe an 8. So there is room to improve but lots more room to drop. Also, I'm less quick to forgive. Don't anyone hold their breath waiting for my canonization when I jump off.
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 3:05 pm
(This post was last modified: November 24, 2017 at 3:08 pm by J a c k.)
(November 24, 2017 at 2:50 pm)Industrial Lad Wrote: Well I often lack the confidence to initiate things. So often others have to introduce themselves. Then I'm like "OMG this cool person wants to be my friend!" Once that happens they are pretty high up on the scale. It's not that I'm unfriendly, I guess that stuff is awkward for me and I fear rejection.
Hanneh! Build that confidence, yo. You’re pretty darn cool.
(November 24, 2017 at 3:00 pm)Whateverist Wrote: (November 24, 2017 at 2:13 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I always start at 10. Seriously, if you're not a jerk, I will like you. And even if you are a jerk, it would take doing/saying something really crappy for me to actively dislike you.
....and then if you apologize or start being nice, you're a ten again.
Don't know why, just always been like this.
(November 24, 2017 at 2:16 pm)J a c k Wrote: Me too! I think I’m irreversibly disappointed, until they say sorry. Then boom! I like them again.
You two would be awesome as gf's. ("I swear, that will be the last time!") I tend to start people high, maybe an 8. So there is room to improve but lots more room to drop. Also, I'm less quick to forgive. Don't anyone hold their breath waiting for my canonization when I jump off.
Lol I suck at the forgiveness thing. I’ve disliked people here before, because of whatever, and then they gave me a fuggin kudo and I’m like awwwwwww! Let’s cuddle.
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 3:09 pm
(This post was last modified: November 24, 2017 at 3:09 pm by Whateverist.)
You just got to accept that rejection is a no fault action which either one of you may be forced to take. People look for different qualities, values, interests, and life choices. Sometimes you'll be the one who doesn't fit, sometimes it will be her. Honestly, having to be the one to issue the pink slip is way more unpleasant.
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 3:12 pm
I'm definitely on the lower end. I hate meeting new people and it sends my anxiety into overdrive so I take a long time warming up to people. If they are the type A personality I will dislike them at first because they are pushy to talk but then I like them because it gets me out of my shell. Other people like me just end up making us look like two awkward turtles avoiding each other.
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 3:12 pm
I start people at 0.
Many of them never advance beyond that.
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RE: Do you start people at ten, or do they need to earn it?
November 24, 2017 at 3:14 pm
(November 24, 2017 at 3:12 pm)Minimalist Wrote: I start people at 0.
Many of them never advance beyond that.
According to your reps, people feel differently about you
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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