RE: Aspergers Syndrome
September 23, 2016 at 4:15 pm
(This post was last modified: September 23, 2016 at 4:34 pm by Crossless2.0.)
My son has Asperger's. He's 21 now and going to school. He's on the fence about which degree he ultimately wants to pursue but is leaning toward research psychology (autism and spectrum disorders) or some pursuit in the neurosciences.
Unsurprisingly, the most obvious manifestation of his Asperger's involves an intense, often obsessive concern with certain topics that recur in our conversations over and over and over. He's highly intelligent but his intelligence is funneled almost exclusively into the set of topics that interest him at any period of his life. You want to know something about biology, psychological/psychiatric diagnostic criteria, international human rights tribunals and cases, the genres of music he likes, the periodic table, films, and (this is a recent one) which major authors influenced which other major authors (mind you, he seldom reads fiction)? Then he's your man. But don't expect much in the way of engaged conversation on topics outside his wheelhouse.
He struggled a lot socially as a boy -- particularly with his age peers. The exception to his social awkwardness during childhood came in the presence of certain adults because he could expound at length on whatever his topics of interest may have been at the time. The adults were more patient with him than the other kids were, and he got the added bonus of being praised for knowing so much about such things. But the social awkwardness has taken its toll, and he has struggled with depression over the years, often expressing feelings of loneliness and of being cut off from others. His best friends today are all people around his age who either have Asperger's themselves or are otherwise deemed social outsiders or geeks for one reason or another. Again, no real surprise. I'm just glad he has finally found himself a small circle of friends. For so long, he really didn't have anyone his age he could relate to.
People who don't know him well often consider him rudely aloof, but that's just him stuck in his own head. I still can't convince my wife that narcissism isn't a diagnostic hallmark of Asperger's because he strikes her that way. Again, he doesn't mean to be insensitive to people around him and usually isn't even aware that he may be coming off that way. If you can meet him at least half way on his own turf, he is engaging as hell and has flashes of a delightfully wicked sense of humor. But you also have to resign yourself to the idea that eventually the conversation will drift out of your control and take on a life and logic of its own, pretty much dictated by what he feels like discussing.
He is the apple of my eye, and I worry about him more than anyone really knows.
Unsurprisingly, the most obvious manifestation of his Asperger's involves an intense, often obsessive concern with certain topics that recur in our conversations over and over and over. He's highly intelligent but his intelligence is funneled almost exclusively into the set of topics that interest him at any period of his life. You want to know something about biology, psychological/psychiatric diagnostic criteria, international human rights tribunals and cases, the genres of music he likes, the periodic table, films, and (this is a recent one) which major authors influenced which other major authors (mind you, he seldom reads fiction)? Then he's your man. But don't expect much in the way of engaged conversation on topics outside his wheelhouse.
He struggled a lot socially as a boy -- particularly with his age peers. The exception to his social awkwardness during childhood came in the presence of certain adults because he could expound at length on whatever his topics of interest may have been at the time. The adults were more patient with him than the other kids were, and he got the added bonus of being praised for knowing so much about such things. But the social awkwardness has taken its toll, and he has struggled with depression over the years, often expressing feelings of loneliness and of being cut off from others. His best friends today are all people around his age who either have Asperger's themselves or are otherwise deemed social outsiders or geeks for one reason or another. Again, no real surprise. I'm just glad he has finally found himself a small circle of friends. For so long, he really didn't have anyone his age he could relate to.
People who don't know him well often consider him rudely aloof, but that's just him stuck in his own head. I still can't convince my wife that narcissism isn't a diagnostic hallmark of Asperger's because he strikes her that way. Again, he doesn't mean to be insensitive to people around him and usually isn't even aware that he may be coming off that way. If you can meet him at least half way on his own turf, he is engaging as hell and has flashes of a delightfully wicked sense of humor. But you also have to resign yourself to the idea that eventually the conversation will drift out of your control and take on a life and logic of its own, pretty much dictated by what he feels like discussing.
He is the apple of my eye, and I worry about him more than anyone really knows.
