Aspergers Syndrome

[Edwardo Piet]

Well, speaking from my own personal experience, and not as a professional, they do seem like they may be pointing to something like Asperger's

Yes I think so too.

, but it's hard to tell when I don't really know you and I've never had to observe your body language and how you interact with people in social situations.

Understood

I can relate to the abstract part. It probably means you're more at ease in your inner world than when you interact with the outer world. But this sounds more like an introvert vs. extravert thingy, rather than Aspie vs. NT (neurotypical). While there may be a strong correlation between introversion and being on the autism spectrum, there are people on the spectrum who are extraverts as well.

Yes and I'm extravert in the sense that talking to others energizes me. I'm socially anxious to please and be liked and I like to be alone in RL where I am safe from oppressive people (and even the average person feels oppressive to me, I feel compelled to say "yes" and I ask permission for things when most people would not, a lot).

The narrow interest part, I can also relate to. But let me ask you this, for more clarity: Do you find yourself rather uninterested in certain social topics , that other people tend to be interested in, to the point that you have almost zero motivation to learn anything about them? And I'm not talking mathematics or rocket science or anything of the sort, but rather casual topics that are meant to be common topics for discussion in social groups. For example, maybe cooking, or house prices, or whatever.

Yes very much so most small talk bores me... in groups though. In groups. I like talking about anything one on one simply because I love bonding.

Groups make me highly socially anxious. Forums don't feel like groups though.

What about how you behave socially? Have people made comments about how awkward you tend to be socially (e.g., lack of eye contact, lack of social smile, standing up/sitting down in an abnormal manner, selective muteness, etc.)?

I can't do selective muteness because I feel compelled to respond to everything out of fear of being deemed, or, rather, called, ignorant.

I despise being thought of as ignorant or ignoring someone.

I smile a lot I'm very eccentric and upbeat.

In the past however I have been very like how you describe. I've developed this extravert air about me... I used to be very very very socially anxious and noticably so. I got better at hiding it and it's still me being my true self because when I behave confident I feel confident. It's the "fake it 'til you make it" thing.

As for sitting strange... I sit on my legs often... to the extent and for such long periods of times that people ask "wow doesn't that hurt?"

Also as soon as a chair isn't available I'll sit on the floor... and I'll often see someone coming across the room with a chair and then they'll be shocked to discover I'm sitting on the floor. I like sitting on the floor it makes me feel my legs.

I dunno if you've ever seen the Anime "Death Note" but anyone who knows me in RL who has seen that series tends to compare me very much to L.

I also do this because I get extremely anxious when there is no chair and I immediately have to sit down because the alternative is to stand up and be criticized for standing up in a way that feels intimidating.

Then the vast majority of the time I'll be told I'm very meek and harmless and vulnerable and sweet and "too nice".

It all confuses me an awful awful lot.

It seems as though my personality can change in an instant, to be honest.

I mean, maybe you have a comorbidity of a couple of conditions, one of which is Asperger's, or maybe it's just OC. Hard to tell online. Hopefully, your psychiatrist/psychologist will inform you of the needed results soon. But happy to continue this exchange with you if you want.

How lovely!

EDIT: I like you too, Alasdair. You're a really sweet guy.

Yes. Everyone who knows me thinks so. I used to think it was arrogant to say that about myself but then many people who liked me and praised me told me it was not. It is only arrogant if I act superior. The point is many people are sweet not just me

I always wish everyone could bring both themselves and others up without exclusion. It's only when people bring themselves up but don't bring others up or when people bring others down that I see a problem.

Of course my "Can't we all just get along?!" approach is very idealistic and often in life I find that when I try to be friends with everyone I end up with no one.

There always seems to be those who recognize my true and good nature though