On the Gladly Suffering of Fools

[Chido-Wan Kenobi]

I have been cursed with the look of a reasonable, "decent" gentleman (perhaps you remember that I am a College Professor?). Because of this, I am a prime target for every clown who may be trolling the streets, looking for his/her next "mark" - specifically a target for annoying attempts at converting me to their ridiculous superstitions.

In my morning subway ride, I have learned a few corners where these bozi might lurk, and avoid them like the proverbial Plague. Precautions notwithstanding, at some point I have suffered attempts to hand me a "Watchtower" pamphlet, or to get me to "know the way of the Lord Jesus". However, despite my physical appearance, I have been known to pick up and enjoy fights with old church ladies ; I would, for instance, answer: "Sorry. I don't believe in that crap."

One day I was waiting, with a small group, for the bus that would take us to LaGuardia Airport; a huge man walked up to us and asked: "Has anyone here NOT accepted Jesus as your savior?" Hell - I am sucker for this kind of challenge. So, a youngish-looking long-haired guy and I raised our hands. As expected, the guy pounced on us, spewing quotations from the Bible in industrial quantities. Luckily for me, he mostly wanted to argue with the "hippie" (I have no hair left on my head), and he left me mostly out of the heated argument that ensued; our bus showed up within 10 minutes and I was spared the torrents of bullshit being sprayed in all directions.

My point (and I do have one) is to ask about your experiences with witnesses, missionaries and assorted buffoons, who define their goal in life as "to annoy as many civilians as possible, hoping to convert them to <insert delusion here>, in order to avoid being bored to death".

I would like to hear your opinions on what works and what doesn't.