I can sort of relate. For me it wasn't so much the fear of punishment as the desire not to disappoint this ideal being. I wanted to be its chum. (Caution: major narcissism lies in this direction.) But on the other hand mine was the sort of religious experience one has when given only a small dose and then left to ruminate on what it all means on ones own. I think I like my private version better than the stuff they sell you off the shelf but I don't miss any of it.
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Current time: February 3, 2025, 12:29 am
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This is strange. Explaining stuff to myself.
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