I would say that I'm a combo of both. If I find myself worrying about something to the point where it is really bothering me, I have found that the following techniques help me: 1) name whatever is bothering me and try to link some underlying interest to it (whether it be my own, another person's, or both), as this helps me re-frame the problem more neutrally/objectively and gets me into inquiry mode; 2) if I cannot think about the problem without experiencing anger or other negative emotions, then I'll go to the balcony. By going to the balcony, I mean acknowledging/owning that I am currently unable to solve a particular problem/concern and then peacefully walking away from the problem and allowing myself to engage in other activities where I can be constructive. Usually, going to the balcony allows me to recharge and gain a fresh perspective on things, and even if I'm not actually able to go to the balcony, I find that a quick mental balcony can help me be more productive.
Now, regarding something that is beyond my control, I find that it is best to acknowledge to myself that it is beyond my control. In particular, I have found this to be very helpful in being able to stay cool, impartial, and collected when interacting with people who have chosen to let their negative thought processes and emotions dictate their behavior, as it allows me to make peace with the fact that people are going to react to a particular situation in their own way, and if I want to help them, then I've got to respect that in a non-judgemental way that promotes safety, face-saving, trust, and goodwill. Hence, while I'm not always successful, making peace with matters that are beyond my control provides me with a sense of internal peace, which helps me be more cool in challenging situations, especially if I happen to come up short or fail.
Now, regarding something that is beyond my control, I find that it is best to acknowledge to myself that it is beyond my control. In particular, I have found this to be very helpful in being able to stay cool, impartial, and collected when interacting with people who have chosen to let their negative thought processes and emotions dictate their behavior, as it allows me to make peace with the fact that people are going to react to a particular situation in their own way, and if I want to help them, then I've got to respect that in a non-judgemental way that promotes safety, face-saving, trust, and goodwill. Hence, while I'm not always successful, making peace with matters that are beyond my control provides me with a sense of internal peace, which helps me be more cool in challenging situations, especially if I happen to come up short or fail.
