How did u feel when you deconverted?

[Whateverist]

Freedom is the feeling I carry now about de-converting. But at the time I think I was more wistful than anything. Having never really been subjected to any formal indoctrination, I had cobbled together an understanding of god/Jesus/after-life which was pretty attractive if I do say so myself. I imagined that god would be impressed that I had decided for myself what was moral and had not simply tried to observe a set of do's and don't's. We'd have forever to critique my choices and even if we disagreed, I knew he/He/it would respect my autonomy. There'd be lots of long walks across the clouds to talk about the early history of the earth and cosmos as well as the eventual course of events. So for me, admitting to myself I didn't actually believe these things meant the loss of something pretty positive with very little negative attached. Ah well, just a lifetime then. Fair enough.