(April 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)paulpablo Wrote: Did you have to go to high crime rate areas to pick up the drugs, or are you from an area with a high crime rate yourself?
I'm originally from a pretty tough Italian neighborhood that is now predominantly black. But during my addiction I was living in the suburbs and would usually travel to the inner city to pick up, so yea, pretty much always had to go to an area with high crime rates.
(April 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)paulpablo Wrote: What was the race and nationality of the drug dealers you bought from usually? In the part of the UK I'm from it's Pakistani drug dealers who control the area but it varies, there's other areas with more white British and black British gangs involved.
Pretty much all black males. Though the best dope I ever bought was off a middle aged white guy who basically lived a double life. Outside of his life with his wife and kids he was a mid-to-high level heroin dealer who only sold to me because he knew me well. There are plenty of white drug dealers out there but you tend to find they are rarer, at least in my area of the US.
(April 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)paulpablo Wrote: Have you ever tried to give up smoking cigs and how does that compare to giving up heroin? I've given up smoking cigs and it was quite difficult for me, I also had a developing addiction to pain killers which I thought was similar.
Never got the appeal to cigs. I smoke cigars from time to time but not nearly often enough to consider it to be any form of addiction. I smoked cigarettes from time to time after shooting up because it did enhance the high a bit but never enough to get hooked I suppose.
(April 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)paulpablo Wrote: What's your age and where are you originally from?
Just turned 24 and I'm from Ohio.
(April 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)paulpablo Wrote: Is there any history of addiction in your family and have you replaced your previous addictions with any others? Such as sex, or exercise.
Yes there's plenty of history of addiction in my family. No I don't feel I've replaced one addiction with another. Now I simply fill my time with things I enjoy and things that better me as a person.
(April 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)paulpablo Wrote: What was your sex life like through your heroin addiction?
It slowly dwindled to non-existent eventually. When you have heroin you stop caring about sex after a while.
(April 9, 2017 at 9:15 pm)paulpablo Wrote: What's your financial situation like now you don't have to spend money on heroin? Do you plan to pay back the family members you stole from?
Now I'm doing great financially. I have more money in my savings account than what most people would probably make in a year. I've offered to pay back members of my family that I stole from but only my brother accepted the offer. My family is a bit dysfunctional and I believe some of them like the idea that I will forever "owe them" in a sense. Though to be quite honest I don't feel like I owe anyone anything. I've apologized profusely over the years for all that I've done... and I truly meant all that I said in those apologies, so I've sort of let that guilt go. I am still a bit ashamed that I did what I did... but I don't feel guilty if that makes sense. It's just sort of embarrassing to admit that at one point I was so weak that I stooped to stealing money out of my grandma's purse.
My life has never been better than it is right now and I have reason to believe things will only go up from here. I haven't done heroin in I think like 3 years now. It's amazing what you can accomplish in three years if you really buckle down and set goals for yourself.
But my heroin addiction didn't really last for long so you can argue that I didn't put my family through a whole lot... unlike my mom who has been relapsing on and off for the past maybe 20 years or so and has put my grandparents through hell and back multiple times... sort of makes me look like a good kid, sadly.
All in all, the scariest times in my life were when I was 18. I was completely sober for a while there and doing jobs with a crew of guys that were legitimately dangerous people. Looking back I was a kid and had no clue what the fuck I was getting myself into. Those were times I'm truly lucky to have survived. Compared to some other stuff I've been through, heroin addiction doesn't seem like that big of a deal, quite honestly.
“Love is the only bow on Life’s dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening star. It shines upon the babe, and sheds its radiance on the quiet tomb. It is the mother of art, inspirer of poet, patriot and philosopher.
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
