I am writing this right now, because I need to vent about my own life history. I don't kick myself anywhere near the way I did growing up. Back then I didn't know any better. I am writing this now because of my recent attempts to submit my poetry to an atheist org.
I suck at spelling, always have. I do try to look for the red lines before hitting submit. But no matter how hard I try, I always miss something. It is frustrating, but I also refuse to beat myself up over it. I can spend even up to an hour after submitting a poem just in a thread, posting, then editing, submitting again, only to find another error. I do hate that but I also don't have anyone in person I can submit a paper copy to. I also don't have an office and a staff.
I do for example know the difference between no and know, their and there, and to and too, but find myself frequently correcting those because I miss it. But for whatever reason while I am in the initial post my brain does not always catch it. And even with the benefit of the red line, again, I do try my best to catch it, but if the text is big enough, no matter what, I miss something.
I also get anxiety too, and even when not submitting it for approval of others, my brain constantly tells me to get it out before you accidentally forget, or worse, hit the wrong key and delete it, which I have done.
It also did not help having parents who were perfectionists and teachers. I know they meant well, but I was diagnosed as LD and also see that in my biological family. I simply think that far too much of society sees a disability as only physical and that is simply not the case. To keep my own sanity, I have to simply do the best I can and not beat myself up over everything. I am already my own worst critic.
I needed to write this right now, because I am really stressing over if a poem or a couple of them will be printed by that org. I know people like many of my poems, but I still stress out knowing I can only cope with and not cure my disability.
Things like bi polar, anxiety and depression can be just as crippling as a broken arm or missing limb.
I suck at spelling, always have. I do try to look for the red lines before hitting submit. But no matter how hard I try, I always miss something. It is frustrating, but I also refuse to beat myself up over it. I can spend even up to an hour after submitting a poem just in a thread, posting, then editing, submitting again, only to find another error. I do hate that but I also don't have anyone in person I can submit a paper copy to. I also don't have an office and a staff.
I do for example know the difference between no and know, their and there, and to and too, but find myself frequently correcting those because I miss it. But for whatever reason while I am in the initial post my brain does not always catch it. And even with the benefit of the red line, again, I do try my best to catch it, but if the text is big enough, no matter what, I miss something.
I also get anxiety too, and even when not submitting it for approval of others, my brain constantly tells me to get it out before you accidentally forget, or worse, hit the wrong key and delete it, which I have done.
It also did not help having parents who were perfectionists and teachers. I know they meant well, but I was diagnosed as LD and also see that in my biological family. I simply think that far too much of society sees a disability as only physical and that is simply not the case. To keep my own sanity, I have to simply do the best I can and not beat myself up over everything. I am already my own worst critic.
I needed to write this right now, because I am really stressing over if a poem or a couple of them will be printed by that org. I know people like many of my poems, but I still stress out knowing I can only cope with and not cure my disability.
Things like bi polar, anxiety and depression can be just as crippling as a broken arm or missing limb.
