RE: a new atheist and marriage
August 8, 2017 at 9:46 am
(This post was last modified: August 8, 2017 at 9:50 am by drfuzzy.)
(August 7, 2017 at 5:43 pm)Thegoodatheist Wrote:(August 7, 2017 at 5:27 pm)Crossless2.0 Wrote:
I suppose what I mean is traditional roles of male and female. The man provides and the woman keeps up the household.
The man provides and the woman keeps up the household. Hmm.
Well, historically speaking, even two generations ago this was the ONLY choice for a woman. Biologically speaking, it made sense to keep the women and children at home, because a pregnant female couldn't fight or hunt very well, and somebody had to care for the children. This "traditional role" was dictated by the fact that females popped out a baby every year or so until they died in childbirth at the ripe old age of 35. If they were tough enough to make it that long. During these times, education and career was a non-issue for both males and females.
Now, you are going to school and you might decide that you want a career. You might face the same situation most young adults face, that most households need two incomes to function well. And you might also consider that a man shouldering the role of "sole breadwinner" is actually carrying a large burden. Losing a job can be a terrible blow if the inability to provide means you are "not a man". This is an unequal relationship, where the male has all of the power - he supplies the wife with an allowance and it's HIS money so he gets to say how it is spent.
I have known some bright, educated women who made the choice (with their husband) to be a stay-at-home Mom. Of course, the husband of my first example is a well-known plastic surgeon, who would brag to everyone within earshot that HIS wife didn't HAVE to work. I also know a stay-at-home Dad. The woman made three times as much money as he did, so he chose to take care of the kids and the house. He taught himself a lot of home improvement skills along the way - he has remodeled most of the house, it's quite beautiful. But some jerks sneer behind his back - call him a "manny". I hope those attitudes change soon.
As you can tell, I'm an "old lady". I believe that a couple can do well as long as there is honesty and good communication. But I'm wary of unequal relationships. I think that we have moved past the era where the husband is KING of his castle, and the wife does all of the cooking and cleaning. I would vote for equally respected careers and equal distribution of household duties - but that's just me.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
