a new atheist and marriage

[Brian37]

I think there are a lot of conservatives that do not believe in god.  They play along with the social normality of their peer group because it is just as easy to not make a big deal out of what at the end of the day is a personal thing (belief in god).  I think that the dynamic of your relationship with your fiance is really no ones business but yours.  I will say that a relationship based on two equals is always more stable and rewarding.   You both should think in terms of we, you are a team and collectively you will create a better existence than you ever could as two individuals.  Do not get hung up on gender rolls and what other people think, that can all change in an instant.  Continue to learn and better yourselves so new experiences open up for you both.

So do not feel that you are alone in holding conservative ideals. In general most atheists are left leaning, some are pretty extreme.  Extremists think that anyone with conservative ideals is a stupid racist who's perspective deserve only ridicule.

I wish people would not idealize any relationship. In reality some women and some men are better at leading, even when it comes to jobs. And some women and some men are better at being helpers. 50/50 works too, but it is not the end all either. There is no utopia model when it comes to relationships, be it family or co worker. The only thing in any relationship that really matters is communication and consent, not leading, not following not 50/50, but communication and consent. All of those options still depend on communication and consent. 

But yea, I do agree, the only people that matter are the people involved and unless abuse is involved, nobody outside that relationship has any say. If the couple is happy that is what matters. 

There are economic conservatives whom are not religious sure. And there are certainly even some social conservatives whom are not religious as well. But, in today's political climate, the religious right has hijacked our government and the economic conservatives have also hijacked our government. That marriage between the religious right and the economic right all started with Nixon's southern strategy combined with Jerry Falwell's "moral majority" push back in the 70s and 80s. That started the age of Reagan's deregulation and "don't tax the rich" climate. And ever since the pay gap between the top and the bottom has exploded, and workers, compared to before Reagan virtually have no say now.