Atheist struggling to answer a question i often propose to myself

[Whateverist]

Ah, so you're just generalizing from your own druthers to what might be true for others?  This is where reason will take you if you feel no need to verify.

Fair enough. I respect people of high moral character regardless of their beliefs. At the same time when people volunteer what motivates them to do good, refrain from evil, and advise others of the same i respect even more those who can articulate why those character traits are important and worthy. 

I guess you side with Kant in believing that the person who visits his dying mother in the hospital out of a sense of duty is more worthy morally than the one who visits just because of his strong affection for the dying parent.  On the other hand, if you were dying in the hospital which would you prefer to be your kid's motivation?

I place a higher value on moral behavior which is motivated by a coherence between sentiment and reason, than I do that which is reasoned from first principles and then adhered to resolutely regardless of the sentiment doing so engenders.  Morality like jazz benefits from the inclusion of improvisation.