FROM APR NEWS IN QUINDARO NAMBIA, I'M ALAN PLACE.
DEVASTATING NEWS FROM ARMOURDALE THIS HOUR... WE ARE RECEIVING WORD THAT A PARTICULARLY BAD CASE OF WASHER TILT HAS KILLED SEVEN AND WOUNDED FORTY-TWO OTHERS. IN A STATEMENT FROM QUINDARO, THE GRAND NAMB CALLED THIS THE DARKEST DAY IN NAMBIA HISTORY SINCE THE CATERPILLAR WAR... THE WARBLER DENOUNCED HIS STATEMENT AS BEING HISTORICALLY INSENSITIVE AND ALSO REMARKED THAT IT SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING COLFAX WOULD SAY.
NAMBIA UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL COACH MARTIN McMARTY, THE HEAD OF THE SPORTS UNIFORM STANDARDIZATION COMMISSION, ISSUED HIS REPORT TODAY ON ESTABLISHING ONE STANDARD UNIFORM FOR ALL SPORTS IN NAMBIA. THE NEW UNIFORM IS TO CONSIST OF A POLYESTER PONCHO, IN WHITE FOR HOME TEAMS AND BLACK FOR AWAY TEAMS, WITH PIPING ALONG THE EDGES IN THE SPORTS TEAM'S DISTINCTIVE COLORS. BENEATH THE PONCHO IS TO BE WORN BLACK GYM SHORTS AND TEAM-COLORED SOCKS. SHOES ARE TO BE ANY FLUORESCENT COLOR THE COACH LIKES, THOUGH ORANGE IS RECOMMENDED AS DEFAULT. THE REPORT HEADS TO THE GRAND NAMB'S DESK TO BE SIGNED ON TUESDAY.
THE NAMBIA WEATHER SERVICE IS FACING CRITICISM TODAY AFTER THEY INADVERTENTLY MIXED UP SATURDAY'S FORECAST WITH THAT OF NOVEMBER 22ND...CAUSING THE TEMPERATURES TO BE EXTREMELY AND UNSEASONABLY COOL. CITIZENS WERE UNPREPARED FOR THE SUDDEN COLD SNAP... MANY RESIDENTS OF QUINDARO APPEARED ON THE SIDEWALK WEARING SHORT SLEEVED SHIRTS, LOOKING ABOUT CONFUSEDLY AT THE SUDDEN AUGUST SNOWFALL THAT WAS MEANT TO BE THE THIRD DAY OF A SLOW-MOVING SYSTEM SCHEDULED TO ROLL IN OVER THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY. THE NAMBIA WEATHER SERVICE PLANS TO MAKE GOOD ON THE ERROR BY REPEATING JULY 4'S WEATHER ON SUNDAY, AND REUSING SATURDAY'S WEATHER ON NAMBIAGIVING AS PLANNED. METEOROLOGIST JIM EFFERSON: (FILE TAPE) "Obviously, we're disappointed that Nambiagiving's weather was spoiled, but we feel reusing the weather we saw Saturday is necessary, since it's a crucial part of the lead-up to the storm's climax, which fortunately remains secret at this time."
THIS IS APR NEWS.
DEVASTATING NEWS FROM ARMOURDALE THIS HOUR... WE ARE RECEIVING WORD THAT A PARTICULARLY BAD CASE OF WASHER TILT HAS KILLED SEVEN AND WOUNDED FORTY-TWO OTHERS. IN A STATEMENT FROM QUINDARO, THE GRAND NAMB CALLED THIS THE DARKEST DAY IN NAMBIA HISTORY SINCE THE CATERPILLAR WAR... THE WARBLER DENOUNCED HIS STATEMENT AS BEING HISTORICALLY INSENSITIVE AND ALSO REMARKED THAT IT SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING COLFAX WOULD SAY.
NAMBIA UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL COACH MARTIN McMARTY, THE HEAD OF THE SPORTS UNIFORM STANDARDIZATION COMMISSION, ISSUED HIS REPORT TODAY ON ESTABLISHING ONE STANDARD UNIFORM FOR ALL SPORTS IN NAMBIA. THE NEW UNIFORM IS TO CONSIST OF A POLYESTER PONCHO, IN WHITE FOR HOME TEAMS AND BLACK FOR AWAY TEAMS, WITH PIPING ALONG THE EDGES IN THE SPORTS TEAM'S DISTINCTIVE COLORS. BENEATH THE PONCHO IS TO BE WORN BLACK GYM SHORTS AND TEAM-COLORED SOCKS. SHOES ARE TO BE ANY FLUORESCENT COLOR THE COACH LIKES, THOUGH ORANGE IS RECOMMENDED AS DEFAULT. THE REPORT HEADS TO THE GRAND NAMB'S DESK TO BE SIGNED ON TUESDAY.
THE NAMBIA WEATHER SERVICE IS FACING CRITICISM TODAY AFTER THEY INADVERTENTLY MIXED UP SATURDAY'S FORECAST WITH THAT OF NOVEMBER 22ND...CAUSING THE TEMPERATURES TO BE EXTREMELY AND UNSEASONABLY COOL. CITIZENS WERE UNPREPARED FOR THE SUDDEN COLD SNAP... MANY RESIDENTS OF QUINDARO APPEARED ON THE SIDEWALK WEARING SHORT SLEEVED SHIRTS, LOOKING ABOUT CONFUSEDLY AT THE SUDDEN AUGUST SNOWFALL THAT WAS MEANT TO BE THE THIRD DAY OF A SLOW-MOVING SYSTEM SCHEDULED TO ROLL IN OVER THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY. THE NAMBIA WEATHER SERVICE PLANS TO MAKE GOOD ON THE ERROR BY REPEATING JULY 4'S WEATHER ON SUNDAY, AND REUSING SATURDAY'S WEATHER ON NAMBIAGIVING AS PLANNED. METEOROLOGIST JIM EFFERSON: (FILE TAPE) "Obviously, we're disappointed that Nambiagiving's weather was spoiled, but we feel reusing the weather we saw Saturday is necessary, since it's a crucial part of the lead-up to the storm's climax, which fortunately remains secret at this time."
THIS IS APR NEWS.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
