Let's talk about life.

[Aegon]

Life is gray, boring, painful and as Hammy said ... It's like being a spectator and not a participant of this show .. you feel but you can't react. ... 
BUT from time to time the sun shines and then it's like a rainbow on a rainy day
... and on the end of the rainbow awaits us a great surprise
...and then life is worth living for these moments!

Oh this is the exact opposite of what I believe! 

People tend to see life as this autonomous....thing... that they're sort of just along for the ride with. But that's just not true. You're not a participant of the show: you are the show! Like I said earlier in the topic, life only exists because you are in it! Being alive and conscious makes you the CENTER of the universe and everything it contains. It has to be. Because you're you, and everything around you is shaping your experience! And when you die, nothing will really matter, because you won't be conscious to experience it. You're driving the train. You are in control of your own life. Even things outside of your control quickly return to your control because, although those things will affect you, it is how you react to these things and how you handle yourself during and after the fact that will ultimately have the greatest impact upon you. 

So it's sort of a combination of realizing there are a lot of things about life that you cannot control, but the way you react to these things allows you to resume control  (so, yes, not only can you feel AND react, but your reactions are crucial to achieving the life you want for yourself.) 

That might have been a lot of mumbo jumbo to you, and I understand that my armchair philosophy may do very little to help your perspective, but I felt like I had to say something.