(August 18, 2011 at 2:39 pm)capnhook Wrote: Hey guys.
My grandmother is very sick and the doctors are saying she may die soon. My very religious mother is telling me she will be at peace, and that she will be with her mother again, her husband and her dog. I don't believe in a god, I don't believe there is any force at work in the world, but the idea of just ceasing to exist, of just fading out of existence is hard for me to accept.
I'm worried that Grans death is going to hit me like a ton of bricks, I want to be able to draw on something to counsel myself.
If I was religious like Mum, then I would consult my holy book and speak to a respected figure of that religion, but I don't believe, so I am asking the nearest thing, a community of like minded people.
How do you cope with death?
In the case your gran dies, then assuming your gran is your mother's mother then it would seem to me clear that it is your moral duty to support your mother through whatever ritual she thinks appropriate to her grief. In the event your gran is your father's mother then that duty would apply to him instead.
In the meantime, and for as long as your gran is still available to you, then I would suggest you might like to spend as much time with her as you can manage, in co-operation with all others concerned, to provide her with as much pleasure as you can in your nearness. Then, when she does go, you will be most likely to be ready to bear the grief.
Remember also that death is part of the natural process of living and that there is therefore nothing inherently "wrong" with it. When you mourn you will be mourning your loss, not hers. And as an atheist, you will be able to confidently share the belief, in common with your mother, that your gran will not be suffering. No need to dwell on the "being with husband" and so on - if that thought comforts your mother then so be it. Your atheism is your atheism, not hers.
