A question for the ladies of AF

[I_am_not_mafia]

For a long time I confused the  need for intimacy, friendship and companionship with sex drive. I think because I didn't actually ever have a sex drive so didn't know that there was a difference. Men automatically assume that if you are disinterested in sex then it is because you are not doing it right. Yeah I like cuddles, but given a choice  there are many other things that I'd prefer to be doing than sex. It also got confusing because I know what it is like to be turned on. When I had a lot of repressions these came out as kinks that I could not satisfy but when working through the repression I lost the kink. But it was never about having sex with other people.

Put it like this. Imagine if almost everybody in society was really into vigorously rubbing their elbows or blowing air onto their eyeballs, and expected you to enjoy it as well. Then when you don't people say that there's something wrong with you. I mention the elbow because that's like normal sex when no one is trying to stimulate me. It's just an arbitrary part of the body. I mention the eyeball because that's what it feels like to me when someone does try to physically stimulate me. It just becomes more irritating. And then people tell you that you aren't rubbing your elbow properly, and you should blow air onto your eyeball. Then you'll enjoy it like them. And if you still don't then they tell you that you must be repressed. No, I know what repressions are like and they at least give me kinks that I could enjoy.

Yes hormones have an effect. You get more pleasure from satisfying a bigger hunger. This is the same for food, sex, water, drugs etc. But no amount of hormones is going to make me want to rub my elbow or blow air onto my eyeball.

I still want a companion though. I still want to share my life with someone. I still want friends. I can still find men and women aesthetically attractive.