What is the weirdest thing...

[Haipule]

I was once sitting on my lanai on the FL inter coastal waterway, and like you said, the tiniest rain cloud was  raining on the water and coming right at me and went right over my head. It was cool to watch.

One time, and this is weird, I was at work and a storm suddenly hit(common in HI). I ran out to my van to roll up my windows just as the rain stopped but it was odd. There wasn't a single raindrop on my van anywhere and my seats where dry! Every car around was soaked! Don't ask me.

Another time, and this was cool, an associate and I went shopping after work. While we were shopping, a downpour started and continued through check-out. My friend said, "We are gonna get wet". I said, "No we're not". I prayed to God and demanded the rain to stop. As soon as we walked out the door, the rain stopped! "Sometimes it's just soo cool bein' me"--Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.

Another time, another associate and I where smoking a cigarette after work under shelter waiting for a downpour to end(it rains a lot in South FL). My friend said, "It's not going to let up". I prayed loudly, "God I command You as one Who can command weather, to make this rain stop!". It stopped that very second! I said, "Lets run to are cars". When we returned to our cars, the rain started again!

Last year, hurricane Mathew was headed for FL so I wrote a prayer on a Christian website, a few days before, and commanded and demanded God kick that storm out a here and move it out to sea. The Christian community gave me a ration of shit for my audacious prayer.

I awoke early on the day of it's arrival and saw that the storm was making a beeline right up my ass! My wife and I had been preparing and were making finally preps to bucker down in the closet. Just before the storm was gonna hit, I went out onto my covered lanai and had a glass of gin and a cigarette and waited. NOTHING! So I went in and looked at the news and right at the last second, the storm had done the sweetest little dance around Palm Beach county were I was living and went out to sea! The Christians said I just got lucky. The next day, everyone in PBC as talking about that "sweetest little dance" how unbelievable it was! Yeah! I got powers! I lived in South Florida for 6yrs and never owned an umbrella. I didn't need one.

 
narcissism
pride
confirmation bias
ego

fuk those starving Africans an American stayed dry, another found their car keys & a team led in unconstitutional prayer by their coach (FFRF have been alerted) won a football game.
aint gawd grate, go you!

I said in my intro thread that I am a clown. I think arrogance is hilarious so I use it in my clownish ravings. I have NO "self esteem"! What I have is "Cognitive Invincibility"! See what I mean? My stories are true yet anecdotal. They prove nothing except I like playing the fool! Dude! I quoted Ace Ventura!