Tell Me About Your Teeth

[The Valkyrie]

I have false teeth up the top.
Two were smashed out with a barbell weight from the top of the stairs by a psycho ex.
One of them I had to pull out of the hole in my lip.
Another time I was on my way to a job interview and a young girl smashed into the back of my car at the traffic lights.
Lost five on the steering wheel plus a few bits of shattered jaw bone.
Lost two more in a bar fight in Emerald in an unprovoked attack from a drunk 'built like a brick shithouse' miner.
I was pulled off him just as I was raising a glass ashtray to smash his teeth out.
Lost one down the bottom when, and this is embarrassing, I was hammering in a nail for a picture frame and the hammer bounced back and knocked me off the chair I was standing on.
Lost another one down the bottom when I was whacked in the face by a branch I was feeding into a large chipper.
Never worried about getting a partial plate for the bottom, although I have a few wobbly teeth down there and it might be on the cards for the future.

Holy shit.

You've had a rough time when it comes to your teeth, haven't you?

Remember, when it comes to Aussie women, all exes are psychos.