Australia

[Haipule]

If you've every seen a duckbill platypus you would know that God has a sense of humor. It was late on a Friday night and God said, "lets just go with what we got and call it a day".

Then there's the echidna which looks cuddly but has long fingernails growing all over it's body. Both the platypus and the echidna are the only monotremes(egg laying mammal) on the planet.

Then there's the wombats, kangaroos, fucking kookaburras(coo coo birds) which I hate! You ask "why?" Can you imagine what it's like to listen to hundreds of those birds on the wires and in the trees which all sound like children laughing right outside your bedroom window in the morning when you want to sleep in!

Then there's the wallabies, devils and a hideous creature(now extinct since the 1930's but sightings are still reported) known as a Thylacine called a Tasmanian Tiger:







This thing was a marsupial! 

Now, why are all the weirdest damn critters on the planet all in Australia? None of these things were on the ark! How did they get there? And why were they all in one of the last places ever discovered on earth? Was someone hiding them there?

The people of Australia eat yeast extracts known as marmite, promite and vegemite loaded with vitamin "B" which gives them superpowers! I lived there for a year and somehow I escaped with my life! There are a couple of other strange creatures down under. One is called The Valkyrie and the other is called The Little Lunch! There are others!



Guess which one is the Australian?

Yea this alleged "God" has such a sense of humor he also allows cancer and eboli too. Fun when kids die from disease isn't it?

The duckbill platypus looks the way it does because of evolution, not comic book cosmic sky hero.

But sure, they do have some noisy birds there. My friend Bob, lives in Brisbane, and before he went to a nursing home, I would skype chat him and those birds would drown him out sometimes. I am visiting him in Feb, I hope my hotel isn't surrounded by those noisy birds.

Australia also has very dangerous microscopic jellyfish as poisonous as a rattle snake. They have another type of aggressive beach snake that will chase you not run away.

People often ask me about surfing and say, "Aren't you afraid of sharks?" I reply, "There are about a hundred things out there that can kill." "The least likely is a shark". Let's not forget the saltwater crocodile!