What do people hate/dislike about you?

[Whateverist]

 

I've had to learn to be more like you socially.  I was raised to be a perfect diplomat and that sucked.  Why would anyone want to be everyone's friend?  When I was actively dating two important things occurred to me.  One, that it sucked at least as much to be the one who breaks off a relationship as it does to be the one rejected.  Two, that being the case, it made no sense to put my best face (defined as the part they wanted to see) forward.  All that did was ensure that I would always have to be the rejector rather than the rejected, not a win.  By being disclosive about yourself and forthrightly honest n your opining, you may indeed rub some people the wrong way.  But, unless you're running for political office, that's good.  Winning mr or ms congeniality doesn't make for sustainably good relationships or even a satisfying life.  You are much, much better off being yourself and allowing people to sort themselves out accordingly.  You're my role model.




I've seen evidence to the contrary.  Do you find there are men you like who are simply unbearably hard to look at?  I haven't found that to be the case the other way around.

Thank you for this.  I guess gaining 40 pounds since July  (it has been over five months since I smoked a cigarette)  has caused me to notice how unflattering 250 pounds looks on a frame that's 5 foot, 4 and 1/2 inches tall. And for as much as I am trying to work on that,  I'm stressed out here at home and I just don't ever get any compliments from any of the people I live with.
I do need to hear it every once in a while but I am not going to beg anyone in my house to say it.

I hope you'll stick with the not smoking for now.  Eventually you'll need to attend to weight loss too to enjoy a long life.  But my just younger brother used to vacillate between smoking and weight gain.  He was just over six foot tall and weighted about 350 when he died.  He had a massive heart attack in his sleep at 47 when his CPAP machine set at maximum could no longer maintain an airway for him.  Eventually the nicotine will lose its grip on you and you'll learn to deal with the feelings it can mask.  You should probably keep your significant other in the loop about what you're experiencing to some degree.  Maybe just tell him how strongly you're feeling these negative feelings and how much you could use all the encouragement he can give you?