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Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome.
#15
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome.
(February 7, 2018 at 12:29 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: It was the 80's after all, had to ask.

You spoke about learning appropriate eye contact. Are there other behaviors you had to learn (unlearn) or things that you do daily to help you get along?

Yes, social smile ... that's an important one. It's not that I never naturally smile when experiencing something that makes me happy. It's that I don't naturally have the right neutral facial expression when socializing with others. Rather than naturally having the normal facial expression that has a tinge of smiling to it, I naturally look depressed (even when I'm not), and have to make a conscious effort to adjust my facial expression when socializing. And it doesn't always work, as it can get pretty tiresome at time.

Also, I have learned to avoid nitpicking what other people say (IRL, at least) because it really gets on their nerves when I do, and I try my best to focus on the bigger picture of what they're really talking about, instead of taking things literally all the time and focusing on the minutest details.

I have learned to listen and respond accordingly instead of just talking over people and dumping boring information on them without their "consent".

I don't have any systematic way of dealing with things in order to function daily. I just suck it up and get mentally ready for the day each and every morning (when I have to go to work or whatever).

(February 7, 2018 at 3:11 pm)Hammy Wrote: Do you tend to notice that you overanalyse things a lot?

Not that there's such a thing. I mean overanalyse according to other people Tongue

I may be diagnosed myself sometime next month.

Yes, I've been accused of doing that by people who know me IRL. Nobody wants to hear a guy incessantly analyze the most trivial matters in life, so they've either bluntly told me to shut up (usually family, lol) or they'll change the subject and move on to something else, which irks me even more (because the urge to analyze is still there and it's itching so badly). My partner, on the other hand, she just asks for a hug ... that quiets me down for some reason.

If you get the diagnosis, how will that make you feel? And if it turns out you don't?

(February 7, 2018 at 3:24 pm)J a c k Wrote: Any tips for a mom raising a child on the spectrum? He’s six and high functioning, selective mutism, and hates socializing. He receives therapy for learning to identify facial and body expression and for other social skills. He’s a very sweet kid at home and loves his cats.

Yes, about his selective mutism, give it time. If he's anything like me, he will decide on his own that he will start talking. In my case, I was selectively mute throughout my whole kindergarten years, but once I reached primary school, I just started talking to both students and teachers. I was probably waiting for a change in school environment before I could start implementing this social change. Regardless, just continue to be patient and whatever you do, don't force him to speak or let anyone shame him for being quiet (as that would likely backfire and make him not want to talk even more).

Also, when in doubt, just know ... he does enjoy your company, even if he may not show it and even if he does need a lot of space to be on his own. I know I loved having my mum come to my room and check up on how I was doing when I was a child. I wasn't really cold and distant as a child, just appeared to be so.

It's good he's receiving therapy for all that. Early intervention is always good. Wish I had that back in my days. But my parents were both blind apparently, and doctors back then didn't seem to have a clue.

As for bullying, don't catastrophize (expect worst case scenarios), but do be ready for cases if he does get bullied. Keep an eye out for typical signs of bullying, obviously. That way, if something bad is happening, you have noticed it, and will act accordingly. That said, I think the youngest generations of Aspies do have it better than people Rev and I did, because people have become really aware that this is a thing, and so are more likely to empathize and more likely to encourage their children to empathize. So hope for the best. And either way, you're there to back him up when needed.
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Messages In This Thread
Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 7, 2018 at 7:19 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by polymath257 - February 7, 2018 at 9:43 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 7, 2018 at 10:12 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 7, 2018 at 10:08 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by brewer - February 7, 2018 at 10:24 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 7, 2018 at 10:47 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by brewer - February 7, 2018 at 11:29 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 7, 2018 at 12:14 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 7, 2018 at 12:06 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by brewer - February 7, 2018 at 12:29 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 7, 2018 at 7:19 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by J a c k - February 7, 2018 at 11:48 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 8, 2018 at 12:28 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by J a c k - February 8, 2018 at 12:42 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 8, 2018 at 1:11 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Edwardo Piet - February 8, 2018 at 4:15 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by shadow - February 8, 2018 at 5:57 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 8, 2018 at 8:06 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Edwardo Piet - February 7, 2018 at 3:11 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by J a c k - February 7, 2018 at 3:24 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 7, 2018 at 3:28 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by J a c k - February 7, 2018 at 4:31 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 8, 2018 at 3:39 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by The Valkyrie - February 8, 2018 at 4:25 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Edwardo Piet - February 8, 2018 at 4:26 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by CapnAwesome - February 8, 2018 at 5:39 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Catholic_Lady - February 9, 2018 at 9:24 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 9, 2018 at 10:13 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Fireball - February 9, 2018 at 4:02 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by J a c k - February 9, 2018 at 1:29 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Banned - February 9, 2018 at 4:42 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 9, 2018 at 8:00 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Banned - February 9, 2018 at 8:08 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 9, 2018 at 8:21 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Banned - February 9, 2018 at 10:57 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 9, 2018 at 11:03 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by J a c k - February 9, 2018 at 11:54 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by brewer - February 10, 2018 at 7:19 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by shadow - February 10, 2018 at 12:59 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Edwardo Piet - February 10, 2018 at 2:46 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by shadow - February 10, 2018 at 4:22 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by DLJ - February 10, 2018 at 7:31 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 10, 2018 at 12:03 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 10, 2018 at 12:40 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 10, 2018 at 1:08 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Edwardo Piet - February 10, 2018 at 12:58 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 10, 2018 at 1:21 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Edwardo Piet - February 10, 2018 at 2:29 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 10, 2018 at 1:55 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 10, 2018 at 2:04 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 10, 2018 at 2:24 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 10, 2018 at 7:50 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Banned - February 10, 2018 at 8:16 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by brewer - February 10, 2018 at 8:52 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 10, 2018 at 8:54 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by J a c k - February 10, 2018 at 9:43 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 10, 2018 at 9:52 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Whateverist - February 10, 2018 at 3:17 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 11, 2018 at 12:52 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Rev. Rye - February 11, 2018 at 9:51 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by LastPoet - February 10, 2018 at 3:44 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Whateverist - February 10, 2018 at 5:24 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Fireball - February 10, 2018 at 5:52 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by John V - February 12, 2018 at 11:57 am
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Grandizer - February 12, 2018 at 4:41 pm
RE: Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome. - by Whateverist - February 14, 2018 at 6:28 pm

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