Question for the heterosexual men of AF

[Edwardo Piet]

I have to agree though that a turnoff does not equal phobia.

Right. Genuinely being turned off doesn't equal a phobia. Being turned on by someone initially and then pretending not to be after you discover something (that can't have actually affected how much you're attracted to them) because they fit a particular label that you're phobic of for bigoted reasons when you didn't realized they did on the other hand....

There's a difference between "I've never met a transwoman I'm attracted to."

And "Wow she's gorgeous. And I find her personality really attractive too. What?! You're telling me she used to have a penis?! She used to be a dude?!?!? YUCK I CAN'T POSSIBLY FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE ANYMORE EVEN WHEN I CLEARLY DO BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T LIKE TRANS PEOPLE."

Like, there's a difference between "I've never met a black guy who gets me off but that doesn't mean it's impossible I just have reason to believe I'm simply not into black dudes."

And "What? But he looked white? You're saying there's a such thing as an albino black person? What? He's black? YUCK. Not attracted anymore. Let's ignore my bodily responses and the fact the person's personality is attractive and pretend to no longer be attracted to this person because I'm a racist."

I'm not talking about people who are genuinely no longer attracted I am talking about people who CLAIM to no longer be attracted. Which are like the 0.0.0.0.0.01% people of people who get turned on by chromosones (mmm those tasty chromosones). Being "Ewwww they used to have a penis" isn't actually being turned off by the person, it's being turned off by a bigoted upbringing in a homophobic and transphobic culture.

I reported a thread that referred to a transWOMAN as "Man named Tiffany" for violating the prime directive and I was told it doesn't violate it. Well, fine, but then folks have gotta accept that threads named "Fag named Elton" or "Nigger named Wonder" are no worse and wouldn't violate the prime directive either. Either all slurs violate the prime directive and are equally disgusting and false or none of them do and are. Consistency. Homophobic and racist and transphobic posts aren't against the rules but at the very least I thought homophobic, racist and transphobic thread titles would violate the prime directive if "republcunt" or "libtard" isn't allowed in a thread title.... apparently insulting conservative or liberal people, poltiics being something people choose to support, is worse and less well informed than a slur against a transperson, black person or homosexual, etc, who knew!

Like I said, even otherwise highly progressive people don't get transphobia. The fact that most people's gut reaction would be "It's not the same" just demonstrates how widespread transphobia is. It absolutely is the same and for the same reasons. The fact that so many otherwise progressive people don't get transphobia is why I was using race as a analogy. But if no one even gets that there's a big difference between "I've never found a black person attractive" and being attracted to a black person and then upon discovering they're black suddenly pretending you're no longer attracted because they're black.

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There’s nothing wrong with not being attracted to trans women. It doesn’t make you transphobic at all. Honestly, I think it’s just as wrong to judge someone for who they’re not attracted to as it is to judge them for who they are attracted to. None of us get to choose who we are attracted to or who we are not attracted to.

I agree if we're talking about people who are genuinely no longer attracted and we're not talking about burying true feelings and recoiling in phobia due to bigotry.

I'm not talking about people who generally aren't turned on by any transperson they've ever met, or black person or fat person or thin person or martian person or whatever.

I'm not talking about genuinely non-attracted non-phobic people. I once fell out with someone for saying I was homophobic because I said that I'd find a dick in my mouth disgusting (It was on AF actually and you may remember who I'm talking about). That was absurd of them. The fact I generally find the idea of a sex with a transperson to be disgusting doesn't make me transphobic either. It wouldn't make a difference if instead of generally it were every transperson I'd ever met. That wouldn't be transphobic either. If I found none of them convincing and them all sexually disgusting that wouldn't be remotely transphobic. If I WAS convinced and turned on and still clearly was attracted and then I pretend not to be because they were trans and I was anti-transpeople... that would be transphobic. I'm incredibly pedantic here and what people seem to really be disagreeing with me on is that many people seem to think that when someone is intitially attracted to a person and then claims to no longer be attracted once they discover they are trans, then they assume that person's claim is genuine, not in denial about what they're really attracted to, and not motivated by phobia and bigotry. That's where the disagreement is. If all these people really were genuinely turned off and not motivated by phobia or bigotry after they discover a person is trans, then I wouldn't consider it transphobic at all. If it really was genuine. I highly suspect that it isn't. Just as I highly suspect that an albino white person who had black DNA but looked white to someone, that someone found to be highly attractive mentally and physically.... and then the person discovered they have black DNA and they recoiled in disgust.... is not genuinely no longer attracted either, and is motivated and fuelled by bigotry.

At the very least I want to make it clear that I'm not judging anyone who is genuinely no longer attracted upon discovery of such info. If they genuinely aren't then I don't think they're bigots at all. I just don't believe them and I think they're often self-deceived and repressed to the point of not even themselves realizing what they are really attracted to or what their true motives are.

I don't claim to know this... it just makes a lot of sense to me.

I'll catch you later folks. I'm going out for the results of my autism assessment now.