Question for the heterosexual men of AF

[The Industrial Atheist]

Its the whole "don't think about pink elephants" thing. You can't just tell someone to not think about something. I mean, duh. It's in the brain or it's not. I don't have any control over that baseline of bubbling constant thoughts, and neither does anyone else.

Exactly this.

Hammy, I'm surprised, especially considering that you've diagnosed yourself with OCD, that you would suggest "just not thinking about something." Why would it work for sexual relationships if it doesn't work for anything else?

I read a book about CBT one time. Well I read part of it. But one of the main points was when you tell yourself "Stop thinking about that. Stop thinking about that." it doesn't help because when you tell yourself that, you are necessarily thinking about what you don't want to think about. It's particularly bad when you start feeling guilty about not being able to stop thinking about whatever it is. It's better to accept it and not judge yourself. When you do that, often those thoughts seem to lessen. I've had minimal or no intrusive thoughts for most of my life, but I've found this works well with other thoughts I don't particularly want to have.

But yeah you don't really have control over your thoughts.