(March 28, 2018 at 10:37 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: I was thinking when I was taking a shower earlier tonight, about all of the people, events and things that have changed me in the past five years. My grandmother (my dad's mom) died about three years ago, and I never thought I'd stop crying. I felt like the mourning process would last forever, and that every thought would be tainted with pain and sorrow. But, then one day, I stopped crying, and felt joy when thinking of her. And then there were ex boyfriends who treated me badly, and I never thought I'd recover, or stop going back to them. I had to really look at why I kept attracting assholes, and why I thought so little of myself, that I kept dating players. Toxic friends as well, online and offline, who I let steal my happiness, I also thought I'd never get past. But, I did. Time doesn't heal all wounds, it's what you do with the time, that does that. I've bumped into an ex bf a time or two since getting married last year, and they are still the same lost, pathetic souls they always were, but me? I've grown.
I'm better and stronger.
I never thought I'd let myself be vulnerable enough after all that pain to love again, but I did. And I got married last year to an amazing guy. Maybe we have to go through a lot of bad stuff to get to a better place.
Can you relate? What things have changed you?
During my senior year at college, I had a German mentor who completely destroyed my self-confidence as a student. She was brilliant and easily refuted virtually every sentence that came out of my mouth. She grilled me relentlessly and never gave me an inch. However, she also cared enough to stick with me and guide me through my last big research paper. I learned more from that one experience than in my entire last year, and I owe much of who I am to her. It's crazy how the people you least expect can leave such a big mark on your identity and future.
