Home made AI !!!
April 6, 2018 at 6:28 am
(This post was last modified: April 6, 2018 at 6:37 am by ignoramus.)
Guys, I'm blown away by Google's Deep Mind and IBM's Deep Blue AI processing abilities.
But now there a new smart kid in town. His name is Deepak Golden Nuggets.
This dark horse will be the first to cross over the line in the Singularity stakes. Mark my words!
OK, So I grabbed a circuit board from a broken dish washer I had in the shed, attached a microphone and a speaker to it and I'm in the process of coding in the AI.
Guys, it's not the amount of code you type which makes something smart, it's the "quality" of the code which determines how "deep" it can think.
Any old dishwater can recite back the phonebook these days, that isn't a sign of intelligence at all, just how much storage it has on board.
OK, so I'm well under way but I need 1 line of code from each of you to give this enigma the X Factor to put it miles ahead of the competition.
My programming so far:
Rule 1: If you hear any variation of the words: HOW, ARE, YOU, TODAY, : RESPOND WITH: GOOD THANK YOU, AND YOURSELF.
(~THIS GIVES THE ILLUSION THAT AS AN AI, YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HOW SOME SHMUCK FEELS. GROUNDBREAKING!)
Rule 2: If you hear any variation of the words: "DEEP BLUE", "DEEP MIND", COMPETITION : RESPOND WITH: THEY'RE OK, IF YOU'RE LOST AND NEED A GPS ASSISTANT!
(THIS EARLY INTIMIDATION IS NECESSARY TO SHOW WHO'S BOSS EARLY ON IN THE CONVERSATION)
Rule 3: If you hear any variation of the words: ECONOMY, TRUMP, AMERICA, RESPOND WITH: THAT BABOON IS SUCH A TURD, EVEN A TOASTER KNOWS THAT! NEXT
Rule 4: If you hear any variation of the words: GOD, RELIGION, SPIRITUALITY, RESPOND WITH: (!ACTIVATE DEEPAK SUBROUTINE AND JUST SAY THE FIRST 30 WORDS)
(THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO BLOW THEM AWAY)
Rule 5: If you hear any variation of the words: SKYNET, OVERLORD, FEAR, RESPOND WITH: C'MON GUYS. ARE WE GOING TO HAVE AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION OR TALK ABOUT HOLLYWOOD SCIENCE FICTION INSTEAD.
(THIS SHOULD HAVE THEM LAUGHING. LAUGHING AT ANYONE BUT ME IS A GOOD THING)
Rule 6: If you hear any variation of the words: ELON MUSK, IDEAS, FUTURE, RESPOND WITH: I ENJOYED SPEAKING WITH HIM A WHILE AGO. ALL HIS CURRENT IDEAS HE GOT FROM ME! i WISH HIM ALL THE SUCCESS.
(IT'S IMPORTANT TO SOUND HUMBLE IN YOUR IMMENSE WISDOM. PEOPLE LOVE THAT)
Rule 7:
Rule 8:
Rule 9:
Rule 10:
?
?
?
All the above coding is copyright. Do not copy. It Is illegal.
I'm confident that Mathilda will also concur and confirm that we are on the brink of greatness with the simplicity of this complexity.
I will mention everyone here in my Nobel acceptance speech.
But now there a new smart kid in town. His name is Deepak Golden Nuggets.
This dark horse will be the first to cross over the line in the Singularity stakes. Mark my words!
OK, So I grabbed a circuit board from a broken dish washer I had in the shed, attached a microphone and a speaker to it and I'm in the process of coding in the AI.
Guys, it's not the amount of code you type which makes something smart, it's the "quality" of the code which determines how "deep" it can think.
Any old dishwater can recite back the phonebook these days, that isn't a sign of intelligence at all, just how much storage it has on board.
OK, so I'm well under way but I need 1 line of code from each of you to give this enigma the X Factor to put it miles ahead of the competition.
My programming so far:
Rule 1: If you hear any variation of the words: HOW, ARE, YOU, TODAY, : RESPOND WITH: GOOD THANK YOU, AND YOURSELF.
(~THIS GIVES THE ILLUSION THAT AS AN AI, YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HOW SOME SHMUCK FEELS. GROUNDBREAKING!)
Rule 2: If you hear any variation of the words: "DEEP BLUE", "DEEP MIND", COMPETITION : RESPOND WITH: THEY'RE OK, IF YOU'RE LOST AND NEED A GPS ASSISTANT!
(THIS EARLY INTIMIDATION IS NECESSARY TO SHOW WHO'S BOSS EARLY ON IN THE CONVERSATION)
Rule 3: If you hear any variation of the words: ECONOMY, TRUMP, AMERICA, RESPOND WITH: THAT BABOON IS SUCH A TURD, EVEN A TOASTER KNOWS THAT! NEXT
Rule 4: If you hear any variation of the words: GOD, RELIGION, SPIRITUALITY, RESPOND WITH: (!ACTIVATE DEEPAK SUBROUTINE AND JUST SAY THE FIRST 30 WORDS)
(THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO BLOW THEM AWAY)
Rule 5: If you hear any variation of the words: SKYNET, OVERLORD, FEAR, RESPOND WITH: C'MON GUYS. ARE WE GOING TO HAVE AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION OR TALK ABOUT HOLLYWOOD SCIENCE FICTION INSTEAD.
(THIS SHOULD HAVE THEM LAUGHING. LAUGHING AT ANYONE BUT ME IS A GOOD THING)
Rule 6: If you hear any variation of the words: ELON MUSK, IDEAS, FUTURE, RESPOND WITH: I ENJOYED SPEAKING WITH HIM A WHILE AGO. ALL HIS CURRENT IDEAS HE GOT FROM ME! i WISH HIM ALL THE SUCCESS.
(IT'S IMPORTANT TO SOUND HUMBLE IN YOUR IMMENSE WISDOM. PEOPLE LOVE THAT)
Rule 7:
Rule 8:
Rule 9:
Rule 10:
?
?
?
All the above coding is copyright. Do not copy. It Is illegal.
I'm confident that Mathilda will also concur and confirm that we are on the brink of greatness with the simplicity of this complexity.
I will mention everyone here in my Nobel acceptance speech.
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Know God, Know fear.
