Reading the bible: please help!

[possibletarian]

Modern believers aren't satisfied with "wooden" literal readings -or- unpacking the fucking terrible allegorical reading.  Mostly, because magic book was written by a culture that a modern believer would find utterly detestable.  They imagined that their god was as detestable as they were.  

Believers, today, like to pretend that it's some other god in those pages.  They waste obscene amounts of time and effort trying to make it so.

That's just the thing, in the context of the writings of it's day the stories do make sense, some are even good life stories or parables I really don't have a problem with the bible.

What I have a problem with is when someone comes to me and tells me it's inspired by a loving good god, that every word is god breathed and we should use it as a template for our lives, That's the point it makes no sense. They are asking you to stop your mocking and see it in context, while at the same time claiming divine inspiration for it, it's the claim that is being mocked, not the bible itself.

And to add insult to injury when something in the bible is proven clearly wrong they say 'you have to see it through the eyes of the people of the time' , well no I don't, not if you are at the same time claiming some timeless, all knowing, all loving god was the inspiration for every word.

There is no provable reason at all to take the bible any more seriously than any other holy book/story/myth of the time.