porn and women

[Edwardo Piet]

I’m divided on the porn issue.  My husband and I watch it together from time to time, which can be fun.

Fun!

 On the other hand, I have seen some behind the scenes videos that exposed a lot of abuse toward the female during the filming of a video, so that concerns me.

That is concerning. Although I think that's a matter of abuse being bad rather than porn being bad.

 Another objection I have is that porn really doesn’t take any care with the woman’s pleasure.  It’s all...guys slapping girls between the legs, gagging them with their dicks, and a lot of horrible overacting.  I find it hard to believe many female counterparts derive any pleasure from moves that clearly only serve the purpose of visually stimulating the male viewer.

Some women definitely do enjoy that sort of thing but yes most don't and are overacting.

But yes it is definitely far, far, far, more catered to men. Although that's probably down to the fact that most porn viewers are male so they're just catering to the male population so they can make more money. Just like with any other industry. If 90% of porn watchers were female... do you think perhaps the porn would be more female-directed?

 It would be refreshing to watch a porno that truely focused on the pleasure of the woman for once.

They do exist! Just gotta search for them!

In case you're interested... there's a whole section catered towards female viewers on the porn site xhamster.... although you're probably be surprised how much a lot of it is acutally focused around male pleasure! There are definitely a lot of women who are more turned on by turning on their man than themselves... although that's probably because society has been so sexist for so long that a lot of women have pretty much been culturally programmed into being turned on by what men want. And I am sure hereosexual women with a low self esteem are often likely to be turned on especially by giving men pleasure.(And the takeaway from that is if you think more pleasure should he directed towards women... good that's healthy!. It looks like you've escaped a lot of society's sexist programming).

I mean, I relate it to the fact that when I'm feeling confident I feel more sexually dominant... but when my self esteem is low expecting pleasure from a female seems so unrealistic I can't even get to the fantasy of it. So I am far more sexually submissive when I have lower self esteem (although I do think there is probably also a genetic basis for women to be slightly more submissive than men on average for evolutionary reasons (it makes it easier for men to pass their seed on if women are submissive)).

And, of course, women's self esteem has been ultimately ground down by men and a sexist male-focused society. Even in cases where hereosexual women are bitches to each other and bully each other it's often for male attention (not always but often).

And what I find ridiculous is that many men give examples of women being sexist towards them... but in many cases sexism towards men ultimately comes down to sexism towards women. For example, the whole idea that men are supposed to be tough guys and hold open doors for women and not cry and blah blah blah... that all comes from the sexist idea of men thinking they're above women and that they don't need to cry and they hold open doors for women because they have to take care of them because they can't do it themselves and stuff like that. And even the notion of men having to act all tough comes from the notion that they have to compete with each other to be the toughest of the tough guys so they can take care of women as if they can't take care of themselves. (In case you can't tell I'm not just a feminist but I identity as one and have no problem with the label).

 As far as society as a whole, I don’t think it has any overreaching negative effects.

Yeah I would agree. Excluding, of course, illegal forms of porn.