Deidre's Ramblings

[Fireball]

I've fallen into that introspective abyss before. Half the time, the demon is me. I embraced my inner demon, and immediately felt better. Noli pati a scelestis opprimi.

Fireball. When did you become so enlightened? 

I'm impressed. 

So, does your inner demon love you back? That's the question.

 I love me. It took decades to get to where I accepted myself for who and what I am. I still piss myself off with my lack of perfection, but I've gotten better about that since I retired. One thing I wanted to do, but never had time for, was wood carving. I knew that if I lived long enough to retire, I would take it up. Given that I have only 2 of 10 male relatives who lived past 58, and one of those only to 64, I had little expectation that it would happen- that I would die first. Once I retired (at 62, that took a lot of self-sacrifice) and started carving, I realized that I should have taken it up earlier. A big lesson I learned is that it is an artistic endeavor, and that what one sees in front of one's self doesn't have to be slavishly copied into the wood. There is vast room for interpretation (and for covering that slip of the tool!  ). It was quite freeing. Also, it's a quiet activity, for the most part. I'm not good with a lot of loud noises because of sensitive hearing. I can take the carving tools to a piece of wood and just sweep them around to remove wood, in near silence. It's quite relaxing and therapeutic. You won't see me making bear carvings with a chain saw, that's for sure.