I’m so angry lately.
I recently crossed the country by road. Situations and people constantly reminded me that even though I’m a US citizen by birth, to others I’m a foreigner who’s in the way and taking up their space. I had experienced racism before, but I live in a small town made up of mostly brown people now, so I had forgotten a little about how it feels to be treated like a pest constantly. It’s my country, but it certainly didn’t feel like my country understands this on several occasions. When you’re standing in front of a person ready to order and the cashier tells her coworker in English thinking I won’t understand, “haha do you think she’ll even know what she’s ordering?” Right after a hotel maintenance lady came up to me and not all the other white peoples sitting around to yell at me because I’m sitting at the wrong area, and when the white people asked why they weren’t reprimanded she continues to yell into my face and my black friend’s face, “I don’t want any trouble, stop causing trouble, just leave!” Yeah. It takes its toll.
I’m angry. I’m angry at comments people I love had made about single mothers, forgetting I’m one of them. I’m angry at comments people I used to like have made about the children being detained. Just angry lately.
So, I bought a bike. Nothing fancy. A cheapo mountain bike that works and can take me from point A to point B and back again. No more renting bikes in every town I visit. I got my gear and even crotch cushioned shorts. I came to San Diego this weekend to ride my bike with an ocean view. I felt angry still, but I smiled at the passerby wearing a funny hat, I said good morning to the happy families, high fived all the hippies and hipsters, the homeless and skaters. I put my phone away so I had no interruptions. I had breakfast on a balcony and then kept riding. It gave me comfort. I felt a bit of joy.
Plus I need to lose weight and increasing the heart rate helps haha I packed in some pounds after two years of beer being my medicine. I need to get back in shape and this is a start.
My legs have been hurting the last two weeks from all this riding but my brain feels like it’s getting massages every time. I know I haven’t been around as much lately, and I miss you guys. I’ve been busy with roads, hills, valleys, winds, rain, sun, and everything that you do when you were dead for two years due to divorce exhaustion and you woke up ready for life, but were confronted with, “We don’t want any problems, just leave!” Fuck you, Ohio!
Anywho... I’ll get a nicer bike when I’m not such a noob at this.
Any cyclists here who would be kind enough to share some tips or whatever? So far I’ve been told to adjust my seat so when I have my foot on the pedal at the bottom, my leg should be straight. I’ve used bikes before lol but this time I want to do it right and stuff.
