Reading the bible: please help!

[Drich]

Genesis 1:6

"And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters."

intead of ignoramus can I just call you dummy?

Basically, God decided to create the sky (a solid dome - "hard as a molten mirror"), so that there was something separating all that damn water which the entire universe is made of. The sky occasionally opens it's windows so that some water can come through - this is why it rains.
Essentially, when NASA launch their rockets, they go "bonk!" against the sky dome and fall back down again, and the reason nobody has been on Mars is because they all drowned on the way.

ah, no.. here's the thing dummy. you are reading a dead language version that allows you to play fast and loose with a modern translation. even if you peer don't call you on this everyone is smart enough to see it, but I'm sure one of you will prove me wrong. (that you all are smart)
If you took say idk a modern translation would you still be able to make the same 'dummy' comments?
let see shall we?
gen 1:6 God said, “Let there be a huge space between the waters. Let it separate water from water.” 7 And that’s exactly what happened. God made the huge space between the waters. He separated the water under the space from the water above it. 8 God called the huge space “sky.” There was evening, and there was morning. It was day two.

Nooope not even if you tried to force it could you make the same observation... maybe that is why you are using a dead dialect, so you can indeed play dummy with the translation and pretend your thoughts are legit... Can't you see how easy it is to unwrap your objection? what does it say about you that you put your faith in a child's understanding of a dead dialect?

Genesis 1:16

"And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also."

It all sounds well and good, doesn't it? God makes the sun to light the day, and the moon for night-time. Yes, it would indeed be all well and good, if he hadn't already created and named light, dark, day and night two days ago.
It would seem that God finished creating days on the third day... So where the hell did the first two come from?

dummy... you can't be this stupid... Is the sun the only source of light? ever hear of a candle? every hear of light bulb? When God created light... He created actual light waves/the visual spectrum. not a source, but actual radiant light. do you understand the difference? In 16 he created a source of light a governing body that produces light in the day and in the night. before that there was just light and darkness or the absence of light.

Deuteronomy 22:10

"Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together."

WTF?  Someone please explain

oxes are 10x stronger than donkeys. the way a yoke works is it puts pressure/pain on the animal who works less. If a ox is tied to a donkey in a yoke the donkey no matter how hard he works is always under a great deal of pain. The yoke is designed to spread the weight equally. a donkey can not equal a ox work ability.

Deuteronomy 23:1

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD."

That's right girls! No dickie and plums, no entry! Don't even ask about what customs is like when you get there!

so?