How to approach relationships?

[Macoleco]

So what is your opinion? None of the options satisfy me. What I want is to have a girlfriend that I genuinely like and do activities such as traveling, etc., and not just sex. If your reply will be "Just get a gf and see how it goes", then I ask you, what makes her different from the rest? Since she is the same as any other girl, just prettier or uglier.

Well, you have to start somewhere, no?

IMO, it's hard to get a person you're infatuated with to love you back. After all, your infatuation is sometimes an indicator that you have subconsciously noted they don't like you back the way you do, and such infatuation only makes one come off as desperate, further driving the loved target away. If there is mutual love/like between the two parties, there will be no need for the infatuation part. Again, MO.

I think I have always been realistic in that regard. Its not like I imagined I was going to marry her. I simply wanted to try and have a normal relationship. I think that the fact that it never happened is harder than if it would have happened.

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Well what I mean is that I would not feel the same level of emotion by dating another girl.

How do you know?

No, really, how do you know?  Almost everyone in the history of the species thinks that their first crush/love is the best one, and everything else will pale in comparison...

...until they actually meet someone better.  And that happens far, far more often than not.  Yeah, first crushes, first loves have that novelty factor, but there's literally nothing about them that's 'special' outside of being first.  And life isn't typically a sappy Hallmark Movie.  Most people don't stay with their high school or college sweetheart.

I'll let you in on a secret: I was in a stable relationship for 2.5 years at the end of high school/beginning of college (which is pretty solid given my physical disability).  I thought she was The One™.  Then, she broke up with me.  I thought she was the best person I could've possibly been with, and then it was over.  I was devastated.

But, then, something funny happened.  I was going to college and meeting people.  And, it wasn't like I was actively on the prowl or anything, but during the course of my time there I met 3-4 women around my age that literally made me forget about my ex.  They weren't just physically attractive, but beautiful personalities.  Some I had shared interests with, some not, but nothing that was a game breaker.  Now, in my case, I had the bad luck of them all having boyfriends at the time, but the experience proved to me that, yes, there are indeed plenty of fish in the sea.  In my own neighborhood, in fact.

I guarantee that this phantom you're still pining over isn't half as amazing as you think she is.  And that your obsession with her is simply stopping you from actually meeting some pretty amazing people.  But, you won't know that if you go into every situation thinking "You'll never be as good as her!"  So, get over it.  She's not going to change her mind about you these years after the fact, and there's no use wasting energy on someone who isn't in your life any longer.

Indeed I agree she is a normal girl. In fact, many things have happened which I have avoided mentioning in this thread because I believe it is not directly related to the main topic. But she has been a very, very mean bitch to me. I comprehend a relationship with her would be impossible since having a relationship with a woman who willingly tries to hurt me would be ridiculous. But as you may know, sometimes you cannot control your instincts. Still, I am willing to try to start a relationship with another girl or just have casual sex lol.