DNA Proves Existence of a Designer

[Paleophyte]

The following should be read in the voices of Edmund Blackadder and Baldric.

God! How's that submarine coming along?

Great Boss! Fully autonomous and self-replicating.

Outstanding, now...

We're just trimming the wings down.

Wings?

Yup. We have to shorten them or there'll be too much drag.

Why does the submarine have wings?

Well, we built it starting with a airplane we had...

Why did you build a submarine out of an airplane? This thing isn't going to fly is it?

No, no! That's be silly! >casually drops a folder on the flying fish blueprints< We used an airplane so it'd be sleek! It'll look Fast! All the valkyries will go mad over it!

You. Built. A. Submarine. From. An. Airplane.

Well, yes...

Doesn't that cause... Problems?

Well, it drowns if it stays under water too long.

You. Built. A. Submarine. That. Drowns.

If it stays under too long.

The Submarine... Drowns...

And, it doesn't walk very well.

The... Submarine... Walks...

Well yes. I has to lay its eggs on land.

Submarine... Eggs...

Yes, self-replicating and all.

But not very well...

Well no, it gets eaten a lot so it has to lay its eggs in Antarctica.

Ant... Arctica...

Yes. Only place without too many predators.

And that's it?

Well it tends to freeze up sometimes.

Lovely.

Or starve to death.

Starve. To Death.

Well...

You built a SUBMARINE from an AIRPLANE that DROWNS and can only breed on LAND and because, surprise!!!, it doesn't WALK VERY WELL so it can only mate in an environment so HELLISH that nothing else ever ventures there to eat it, and then it either FREEZES or STARVES!?!?!

Well no, sometime it gets eaten by this.

What in the name of all that's unholy is THAT?!?

Oh, that's a fully autonomous, self-replicating submarine grinder! We call it an Orca. It's a submarine that we built starting with a mowing machine!