damned

[Angrboda]

Have you considered that maybe your anxiety and depression aren't a result of not believing or doing the right thing? God, I'm told, doesn't punish us in this world. Even if he does, you can't assume that what is happening to you is such punishment. It may not be. Sometimes bad things just happen. That doesn't mean your beliefs are wrong, or that your relationship with your husband is a bad thing, it just means that bad things happen. Some Christians believe that if you do and believe the right things, you will be rewardeed in this life. That is called prosperity theology, and the consensus of mainstream theologians is that it is a heresy. Even if God were causing bad things in your life, that doesn't necessarily mean those bad things are the ultimate end of God's purpose. The wise Greek king Solon once said that the only fortunate people were the dead. By this, he meant that, as long as you are alive, your fortunes can always change, so nobody can truly be considered fortunate or unfortunate until their life is complete, and the final results are known. Until that time, though you are rich and happy, tomorrow you may be met with disaster, and all your blessings turned to dust. Alternately, if you are anxious and depressed, tomorrow may bring something different. Anxiousness and depression may even be the factor which brings you to something better. You don't know until everything has been said and done. Since my teen years, I have suffered chronic depressions and psychotic delusions which over the years caused me enormous suffering. In the last few years, I've been free of the delusions, thanks to anti-psychotic medication, and this past summer, my depression lifted, and I am enjoying a full and happy life. So don't give up and blame your religious beliefs prematurely. You don't know what tomorrow may bring. If you trust in God, then trust in God, and know that he has a plan for you. Just remember Job. He went through hell and things turned out for him. Just remember that God helps those who help themselves, so do what you can to address your depression and anxiety in addition to worrying about your beliefs. If depression and anxiety are an issue in your life, then seek help, from therapy, medication, self-help books, friends, family, or whatever.

Best of luck.