Honestly, I see some similarities between your sister and my mother. My mother is never wrong, constantly does whatever she wants and has to have all of the attention on her, gets into fights/arguments with family members and will refuse to apologize or admit she played any part in what went wrong. She has my grandparents wrapped around her finger and it's pretty shitty at times. When I stand up to my mother I'm often give grief about it by my grandparents; they'll tell me, "She's your mother, you need to let it go/stop being angry at her/let go of the past," - even though it's not the past I'm angry about, it's the repetitive behaviors that have been occurring for years, that are still occurring, that she never apologizes for and probably never will apologize for. The bottom line: my mother is a generally unhappy person in my opinion and causes problems for people around her instead of dealing with her own shit. She's been this way all of my life and has never shown any signs of change, so I have no reason to think she will change. My mom will probably be the way she is for the rest of her life. Everything's about her. She's never wrong and it is always someone else's fault. She has no plans for her future (she's almost 50 now and doesn't hold a steady job or source of income) and doesn't seem to be too concerned with figuring that out. It is what it is.
I have learned, and in some ways still am learning, to love my mother from a distance. I don't think any of us can really tell you to cut your sister or family off, but there will have to come a point when you draw some kind of line. What that line looks like is, obviously, up to you. What I can say is that the situation with your family sounds incredibly stressful and I don't blame you for feeling fed up. It sounds like your sister, maybe because she's the youngest, is babied by the family and has been allowed to get away with a lot because of it. If I were you, I would certainly consider limiting contact with the family. Not saying you have to cut anyone off or tell anyone to go fuck themselves, as I don't really think those options are necessarily healthy anyways, but I would certainly think about how much time you want to spend around them versus how much time you can handle spending around them. Finding that balance may not be easy and none of us can really give you an answer on that, but it's something to think about.
As far as your sister walking all over everyone else... is it really your responsibility to stick up for your mother or other siblings? I would say it isn't. I would stick up for yourself when you feel like you're being wronged, and stand your ground to a point that's appropriate, but beyond that, sticking up for everyone else is an exercise in futility. Your family cannot tell you what your personal boundaries are; that is something that is totally up to you. So when your sister is being a bitch to you, absolutely stick up for yourself and don't apologize for it. But when it comes to everyone else I would honestly just stay out of it - is it really worth the frustration? You've gotten to a point where it seems like you're pretty fed up with it all from the looks of it.
Being everyone's defender isn't getting you what you want out of the situation, so I'd give it a rest/learn how to let it go. But never compromise your own self-respect for the sake of not rocking the boat; if your sister is disrespecting you, you're totally entitled to stand up for yourself, within reason.
The problem with stuff like this is that feedback helps, hopefully, but it's ultimately up to you to decide what you are and are not willing to put up with. I wish you luck. Family stuff like this sucks and has been a source of great discomfort for me for many years and in some ways still is. But we can only control ourselves and our reactions to things, so maybe it's time to work on that.
I have learned, and in some ways still am learning, to love my mother from a distance. I don't think any of us can really tell you to cut your sister or family off, but there will have to come a point when you draw some kind of line. What that line looks like is, obviously, up to you. What I can say is that the situation with your family sounds incredibly stressful and I don't blame you for feeling fed up. It sounds like your sister, maybe because she's the youngest, is babied by the family and has been allowed to get away with a lot because of it. If I were you, I would certainly consider limiting contact with the family. Not saying you have to cut anyone off or tell anyone to go fuck themselves, as I don't really think those options are necessarily healthy anyways, but I would certainly think about how much time you want to spend around them versus how much time you can handle spending around them. Finding that balance may not be easy and none of us can really give you an answer on that, but it's something to think about.
As far as your sister walking all over everyone else... is it really your responsibility to stick up for your mother or other siblings? I would say it isn't. I would stick up for yourself when you feel like you're being wronged, and stand your ground to a point that's appropriate, but beyond that, sticking up for everyone else is an exercise in futility. Your family cannot tell you what your personal boundaries are; that is something that is totally up to you. So when your sister is being a bitch to you, absolutely stick up for yourself and don't apologize for it. But when it comes to everyone else I would honestly just stay out of it - is it really worth the frustration? You've gotten to a point where it seems like you're pretty fed up with it all from the looks of it.
Being everyone's defender isn't getting you what you want out of the situation, so I'd give it a rest/learn how to let it go. But never compromise your own self-respect for the sake of not rocking the boat; if your sister is disrespecting you, you're totally entitled to stand up for yourself, within reason.
The problem with stuff like this is that feedback helps, hopefully, but it's ultimately up to you to decide what you are and are not willing to put up with. I wish you luck. Family stuff like this sucks and has been a source of great discomfort for me for many years and in some ways still is. But we can only control ourselves and our reactions to things, so maybe it's time to work on that.
If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.
