(January 24, 2019 at 10:22 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: I wanted to clarify---a lot of times people want the reaction. The fight isn't the end goal, it's seeing and proving that they can affect you, control you.
Take that away from them. Work on remaining dead calm and watch how people react when there aren't two screaming people in a room, but just one.
For some people, that gets them worked up even more. My grandparents are like that. My grandparents are very kind-hearted people and have done so much for me and the rest of the family; I and damn near everyone else in my family owe them more than I could ever repay them. With that being said, they are absolutely terrible at handling disagreements and conflicts. They have zero clue how to stay calm during a disagreement and completely blow everything out of proportion. Staying calm in the face of their anger will only make them angrier. I've had situations where I made sure not to raise my voice or saying anything insulting/out of line only to have them accuse me of subtly trying to mock them and make them feel stupid. I can't tell if they're legitimately that twisted up or if it's some form of manipulation to try and get some kind of emotional reaction out of me. And I suspect that they want to get a reaction out of someone when they're fighting, and it bothers them when they can't do so. Both my grandmother and my grandfather are like this.
So unfortunately, the 'stay dead calm' tactic doesn't always work. It is worth a try though. With many or even most people, staying dead calm make them realize just how ridiculous they're being in a situation. Once they realize that they're the ones getting worked up over nothing and acting like fools, it gasses them out.
If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.
