RE: How would you react to finding out you were making out with a transsexual?
March 11, 2019 at 4:19 pm
(This post was last modified: March 11, 2019 at 4:31 pm by bennyboy.)
I have to be straight up. If a trans person made out with me, and I didn't know, I'd consider it a kind of sexual assault. I don't know what I'd do-- maybe laugh and shrug my shoulders, maybe get violent.
It partly depends how far it got and the circumstances, though. Like, when I was younger if I took a bunch of ecstasy and went to a rave on Davie Street in Vancouver (which is mostly gay bars but also with a lot of everything else mixed in), then it would be one of those oops moments that you just laugh about, and maybe if it goes too far hope your other friends don't find out about because they'll keep razzing you about it. I never made out with a transexual person as far as I know, but I met a few that I'm pretty sure I would have if I was on the right mix of drugs-- which I very often was. And some of my friends were paid by trans (we always said "trannies" back then) for various sexual services, so there wasn't really that much stigma on it.
I had a fair number of non-XX people do pretty horrible things to me or try to when I was young. I was like 140lb in high school (well, in my pause between middle school and finally getting to go back into school), long hair, pretty face, a bit effeminate-- turns out that a lot of people are into that, from female sex workers to dirty old church leaders telling me if I masturbated I really needed to talk to them about it, to 13 year-old girls pretending to 18, to homeless guys with a bottle of wine pulling their dicks out and offering a swig of wine in exchange for services (Canada was freaking COLD in winter for a kid on a park bench). When I was in homeless hostels, I'd get up super-early to shower on my own, but there was always at least one guy watching me take a shower. I wouldn't say I was really sexually abused, but there was certainly unwanted attention from almost every corner. (and I really liked being in an apartment with a lot of exotic dancers, actually, but I realize now that what they did to me was probably stat rape in Canada, and I'm pretty sure that was part of the fun for them).
At the risk of being genderist, I saw enough to believe that trans women had some of the rapacious or aggressive tendencies that "normal" men have, and if that manifested the wrong way (say in someone trying to drug and trick me into a sexual encounter), I might potentially have reacted violently. I was a pretty nice kid, but living on the streets can bring out the claws sometimes.
In general, if I wasn't high, and I thought I was making out with XX-female and you hadn't told me, I'd say my reaction would have been negative. I feel the first kiss should be the cut-line: I'd want you to tell me before the first kiss, or I would feel that you had violated me.
It partly depends how far it got and the circumstances, though. Like, when I was younger if I took a bunch of ecstasy and went to a rave on Davie Street in Vancouver (which is mostly gay bars but also with a lot of everything else mixed in), then it would be one of those oops moments that you just laugh about, and maybe if it goes too far hope your other friends don't find out about because they'll keep razzing you about it. I never made out with a transexual person as far as I know, but I met a few that I'm pretty sure I would have if I was on the right mix of drugs-- which I very often was. And some of my friends were paid by trans (we always said "trannies" back then) for various sexual services, so there wasn't really that much stigma on it.
I had a fair number of non-XX people do pretty horrible things to me or try to when I was young. I was like 140lb in high school (well, in my pause between middle school and finally getting to go back into school), long hair, pretty face, a bit effeminate-- turns out that a lot of people are into that, from female sex workers to dirty old church leaders telling me if I masturbated I really needed to talk to them about it, to 13 year-old girls pretending to 18, to homeless guys with a bottle of wine pulling their dicks out and offering a swig of wine in exchange for services (Canada was freaking COLD in winter for a kid on a park bench). When I was in homeless hostels, I'd get up super-early to shower on my own, but there was always at least one guy watching me take a shower. I wouldn't say I was really sexually abused, but there was certainly unwanted attention from almost every corner. (and I really liked being in an apartment with a lot of exotic dancers, actually, but I realize now that what they did to me was probably stat rape in Canada, and I'm pretty sure that was part of the fun for them).
At the risk of being genderist, I saw enough to believe that trans women had some of the rapacious or aggressive tendencies that "normal" men have, and if that manifested the wrong way (say in someone trying to drug and trick me into a sexual encounter), I might potentially have reacted violently. I was a pretty nice kid, but living on the streets can bring out the claws sometimes.
In general, if I wasn't high, and I thought I was making out with XX-female and you hadn't told me, I'd say my reaction would have been negative. I feel the first kiss should be the cut-line: I'd want you to tell me before the first kiss, or I would feel that you had violated me.
