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[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
#1
Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
If you find the perfect match for you romantic relationship-wise but then you lose them ... then what?
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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#2
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
Re-evaluate your criteria for perfect.
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#3
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
I'd question your definition of perfect and/or relationship. I don't believe in "soul mate".

Then what?........ whatever you want.

Edit: Damn ninja's.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#4
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
(July 15, 2020 at 6:33 pm)brewer Wrote: I'd question your definition of perfect and/or relationship. I don't believe in "soul mate".

Then what?........ whatever you want.

Edit: Damn ninja's.

To me a soul mate is a person is a person who is so great that you will never meet somebody that great again before you die.

I agree that there is no teleology or divine purpose that assigns us to one person. But there may be somebody so amazing for us that once we meet them they're really a one in a million and the chances are basically zero that you'll ever meet somebody that amazing again before you die.

(July 15, 2020 at 6:33 pm)Ranjr Wrote: Re-evaluate your criteria for perfect.

Perfect = perfect for me.

I don't know how to re-evaluate that. Perfect for me is the perfect match for me.

Is a life without sex and romance worth living it as a monogamous person who doesn't want to ever settle for second best? I'm not asexual or aromantic.
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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#5
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
It's very unusual to find two people equally great in the same ways, but being unable to find someone with whom you can have a happy life? I don't think that's likely.
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#6
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
But I can have a happy life being single.

EDIT: But without a person who is right for me I feel like I only have happiness in a very shallow---i.e. non-deep---sense.
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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#7
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
If you lost them (other than through death), then they clearly weren’t ‘perfect’.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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#8
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
(July 15, 2020 at 6:42 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If you lost them (other than through death), then they clearly weren’t ‘perfect’.

Boru

But what about the possibility that they were slightly too good for me. Not because they are egotistical. But because they really do deserve slightly better. This may mean that I deserve slightly worse ... but it may also be true that they will never find anybody better than me but I'm still not good enough and they're better off alone. Is this making sense?
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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#9
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.




Every person in every couple you have ever met has failed in every relationship except the one they are currently in and even that one might end at any moment. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you know what else is in the sea? microplastics.
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#10
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
(July 15, 2020 at 6:45 pm)ModusPonens1 Wrote:
(July 15, 2020 at 6:42 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If you lost them (other than through death), then they clearly weren’t ‘perfect’.

Boru

But what about the possibility that they were slightly too good for me. Not because they are egotistical. But because they really do deserve slightly better.  This may mean that I deserve slightly worse ... but it may also be true that they will never find anybody better than me but I'm still not good enough and they're better off alone. Is this making sense?

If they were too good for you, then they weren’t perfect for you. Is sounds as if you're describing an obsession and not a relationship.


Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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