How would you react to finding out you were making out with a transsexual?

[Yonadav]

Maybe we could get a comment on that from Tara.  What would you do if it looked like Mr. Hands was about to become Mr. Fists?

Yeah, that's why I have that rule for myself.  That's why I tell myself I need to tell a guy before it goes all hands and all.  

And also, yeah, I agree that all parties should have all significant information before engaging in activities like this.  While I'm not exactly lying that I'm a woman, I also know that there's a significant enough difference between myself and a cis woman that it matters.

So, that's the key to my problem:  I have the rule, I know, intellectually, what I need to do.  But when the time comes, I really resist doing it.  And last weekend could have gone REALLY bad for me.  If I had invited a guy back to my plalce without him knowing, it could have gotten even worse.  I guess my question is, how do I get myself to follow my rule when I know I should follow when I really don't want to?  I don't know if any of your experiences can relate with what I'm asking about because it's so damn hard to find something to accurately compare this to.

I'm probably going to piss you off. First, fear of being assaulted after the guy encounters penis surprise isn't the primary reason that you should tell them first, before things get intimate. The primary reason that you should inform them before things get intimate is that you want to do sexual things with them that they might not be willing to consent to. You want to do something sexual, and you are in exactly the same position as anyone else who wants to do something sexual with someone who might not consent. You can't do it. If you go ahead and do it anyway, and penis surprise turns out to be completely unwelcome, then you factually molested that person.

I really am sorry to be so blunt. I completely understand that you just want to be like other women, and it's hard to do that when you have to deal with this awkwardness when you've met someone who is interested in you.