How would you react to finding out you were making out with a transsexual?

[Angrboda]

Maybe we could get a comment on that from Tara.  What would you do if it looked like Mr. Hands was about to become Mr. Fists?

Yeah, that's why I have that rule for myself.  That's why I tell myself I need to tell a guy before it goes all hands and all.  

And also, yeah, I agree that all parties should have all significant information before engaging in activities like this.  While I'm not exactly lying that I'm a woman, I also know that there's a significant enough difference between myself and a cis woman that it matters.

So, that's the key to my problem:  I have the rule, I know, intellectually, what I need to do.  But when the time comes, I really resist doing it.  And last weekend could have gone REALLY bad for me.  If I had invited a guy back to my plalce without him knowing, it could have gotten even worse.  I guess my question is, how do I get myself to follow my rule when I know I should follow when I really don't want to?  I don't know if any of your experiences can relate with what I'm asking about because it's so damn hard to find something to accurately compare this to.

I think men and women both have difficulty following their "rules" when it comes to sex and intimacy. I know that it can be difficult for many women to insist on protection during sex, often with rationalizations for not doing so. And men constantly express misgivings about the time they "let the little head do the talking." So I don't think it's a problem that you alone face. Everybody has difficulty following their "rules" and saying, "timeout, we need to talk about X," when they're in the middle of a passionate moment. Heck, I know a lot of guys who claim it's difficult for them to talk at all during sex, and lack of communication in the bedroom is a perennial problem.