How would you react to finding out you were making out with a transsexual?

[I_am_not_mafia]

Just for the record:

I'm not confused about my gender identity. I know exactly what I am, and for me it makes complete sense. Other people are confused about my gender identity. I like what I am. I like myself and what I am just fine. For me, being a female to male transsexual who was born male makes complete sense. I like it. I'm very comfortable with it. It took me decades to discover that this is who I am. I self identify as a woman who lives as a man. I really like myself this way.

In that case you're not transsexual. You aren't fully male or female. I can say this because humans are a mix of both nature and nurture. Parts of the brain are plastic and shaped by environmental influences, other parts aren't. This is why transsexuality cannot be cured except by transitioning. And fuck knows the medical community have tried for many decades. This is also why being transsexual is so damaging to the individual. Because whatever the person does, the nurture they receive is fundamentally opposed to their nature.

So your gender identity may be female, but if you aren't living as a woman then your brain is not being shaped by environmental influences consistent with your gender identity. This is one reason why it takes so long to transition. It's not just a matter of shaping the body, but learning how to talk, walk, interact with other people and be seen as your acquired gender. And this point is critical to this conversation. Because if you have to explain to people that you are trans before you can have sex, or be denied access to bathrooms or locker rooms, or access to women's refuges or festivals, then it's stopping you becoming the person that you need to be. A transsexual would know this, maybe not explicitly but at least recognise it by transitioning. This was the whole fucking point of the thread after all if you think about it.

So while I am genuinely happy that you have found a way to live with yourself that works for you, maybe you should just admit that you are intersex, not transsexual. Trans- means to cross over, inter- means to be inbetween. So you should consider calling yourself intersex. Because by staying in the half way position you're not fucking transsexual.

Mathilda reminds me some white people who consider themselves to be very accepting of black people, until a black person disagrees with them about something. And then the super accepting white person becomes a flaming racist toward the black person who disagrees with them.

At the end of the day, transsexuals have never given me much push back in discussions about the ethics of intimate relationships with others. Our discussions aren't the flame wars that Mathilda wants to engage in, because we are sincerely interested in the rights of those with whom we are intimate.

Fucking leave it out with the strawman arguments about pot smoking and about my motivations in this regard. It just shows that you cannot argue against the points that I am raising and that you are losing the argument.

Maybe the transsexuals would have given you push-back if you had just accused them of being date rapists.

The fact that you are so wrong about me tells me that I am correct.