How would you react to finding out you were making out with a transsexual?

[Yonadav]

You are such an ignoramus. 
I'm a transsexual who has been pondering trans ethics for several decades, have been an activist for trans rights for decades, have decades of lived transsexual experience, and I really do qualify as an expert. You're just an ignorant blowhard with extremely strong opinions about issues that you don't know anything about.


What makes the chick with the dick more 'authentically' transsexual than me? (That's not an attack on TaraJo, but Mathilda really wants to go there)
I have a surgically constructed vagina between my legs and spent 17 years living in the gender role of a woman.  
If you think that I'm not a transsexual anymore, then you really do have the incredibly ignorant opinion that clothing is gender.

No. I have the opinion that you are not transsexual any more because you are living as your birth gender.

I am not, and have never said that clothing is gender. I am saying that gender is more than just your body. You are making a claim more similar to that of right-wing transsphobes who say that someone assigned male at birth can never be a woman because their body was not born female.

You do not in any way qualify as a trans expert because you have not fully transitioned. And more importantly you do not intend to.

Why did you spend 17 years living as a woman only to then go back again? That can't be a sign of someone who did succeed in transitioning properly.

There are massive differences between your life and those that have fully transitioned and stay transitioned until their death.

Transitioning does not stop once you managed to pass. Your entire life is spent catching up. Sure yes 17 years is a good go of it but believe me, don't for one moment think that it's all done and dusted by then.

What makes the chick with the dick more 'authentically' transsexual than me? (That's not an attack on TaraJo, but Mathilda really wants to go there)

What the fuck are you even going on about? Who said that?

When TaraJo is considering becoming intimate with someone, she has to decide when to tell them she has a penis.
When I am considering becoming intimate with someone, I have to decide when to tell them about my vagina.
During the 17 years that I spent living as a woman, I had to decide when to tell them that I had once been male.

I didn't disagree with any of that. My point was that if you are post-op and they can't tell the difference then they do not need to know. And you replied that that was date-rape.

I cannot even state how angry that makes me without breaking the rules of the forum. So please just imagine the worst ever language and imagine I said it to your face you despicable person.

Because if I actually say just how much this deeply hurts me then I may get banned from this forum.

So holy fucking shit, Mathilda! I actually have tons and tons of experience dealing with exactly what TaraJo is asking about. And you idiotically think that despite my tons of experience with exactly this issue, and my tons and tons of experience with trans ethics, that I am unqualified to discuss the matter because you are a clueless idiot who has incredibly strong opinions on issues that you don't know anything about. 

As I said for the umpteenth time. Don't make assumptions about me.

My god you are so fucking thick it hurts.

I enjoy having a woman's body and projecting a male persona. Transsexuals don't have to conform with your ignorant stereotypes. Dresses and lipstick don't have as much to do with gender identity as you ignorantly imagine.

I never once said dresses and lipstick have anything to do with gender identity. I made the point that being seen and treated as your acquired gender is just as important too and this shapes your brain to reduce gender dysphoria. Maybe the environmental influence is more important for some, maybe less but it is a fundamental part of being transsexual and you don't get that living as your birth gender. What you are describing is being transgendered. It doesn't have to be lipstick and dresses, it could be a fucking burkha or sack cloth if that's what the women in your culture wear. It doesn't matter. But transitioning involves being seen and recognise as your acquired gender. And coming out can mean being seen as less than a woman even though they would not otherwise known or treated you any different. This is why coming out is so deeply traumatic for some trans people that they can't even say it using an anonymous account on a fucking discussion forum. Yet your so-called expertise doesn't even fucking recognise this. The concept is alien to you. Which is why I say that your experience of being transsexual is limited. Not that I object to that. I object to you passing harmful judgement while at the same time claiming to be an expert on the issue when I can clearly see that you are not.



Maybe we should ask for this thread to be closed? I am not finding it good for my mental health and I suspect that you aren't either.

Edit: I'm going to ask for it to be closed before things turn really nasty.

You're the one who made it nasty with your ignorant personal attacks.
I am a transsexual who has spent decades thinking about trans ethics. The only times that I have ever been in a flame war with anyone over trans ethics was when speaking with abysmally ignorant non-transsexuals like you who have strong opinions on issues that they don't know anything about.
I say the sorts of things that I have said here when talking with transsexuals all the time. It doesn't turn into a flame war, because we are all sincerely interested in the rights of those with whom we are intimate.
I have never in my life considered being intimate with someone without informing them that I am transgendered.
If they were attracted to me before I told them, and they were not interested in being intimate with me after I told them, then they aren't right for me anyway.
If I had ever been intimate with anyone without telling them, and then they later found out and were upset, and said that they wouldn't have been intimate with me if they had known, then I would completely feel that I had violated them. And yes, I would feel like I date raped them.
I absolutely have a right to say that.
And if you knew what the fuck you were talking about, you would know that we've been having discussions like this forever. And pretty much all of us has always agreed that we have to tell them. The discussion is usually along the lines of at what point we should tell them, with just about no one arguing that we don't have to tell them, and that rare individual who says that we don't have to tell them being regarded a pretty creepy.
We tend to be pretty clear that living our lives without ever needing to tell anyone ever, not even the people that we are intimate with, is basically a fantasy.
And by the way, the surgically constructed vagina doesn't feel the same as natural vaginas. Men can feel the difference. Stories of men having sex with transsexuals and not being able to tell the difference are myth. You can feel the difference with your finger. A man can definitely feel the difference with his dick. And anyone who has had any experience at all with surgically constructed vaginas can spot one immediately.

Your personal attacks against me have been shameful. And you know that. That's why you are asking for this discussion to be deleted. I don't have any problem with anything that I've said. I've been talking trans rights, ethics, and identity for a really long time.