I Don't Care

[I_am_not_mafia]

And I see that Mathilda is still spinning her lies about me being transphobic. I'm not transphobic. I have been an advocate for trans rights for my entire life.

How can you talk with authority about modern trans-rights if you have detransitioned and don't even live as a transsexual anymore? It's like an aging multi-millionaire blues singer talking about what it means to be a young black person today.

I accuse you of internalised transphobia because you obviously do not see trans-women as proper women. You have brought into the bigotry.

I question whether you are doing more harm than good. You are like the trans equivalent of Milo Yiannopoulos.

Mathilda has been calling me transphobic ever since I stated that it is not ethical for a transwoman to have sexual relations with a man who would not have been willing to have sexual relations with her if he had known that she was trans.

You called it date-rape. Yet can't explain why it is any different to the myriad of other initially unknown reasons why someone would get turned off a sexual partner. This is because you do not see trans-women as proper women.

So the transwoman is living her personal truth as a woman. She expects her personal truth to be respected by others. In a polite society, there is nothing wrong with this expectation. But she isn't delusional. She knows that she doesn't have any actual female reproductive organs.  She knows that a chomosome test would say that she is male. She knows that future anthropologists who study her bones will identify them as the bones of a man. She knows the difference between her surgically constructed vagina and a natural vagina. She has a reasonable expectation that her personal truth that she is a woman just like any other woman should be respected.

This is a conservative view, seeing people as nothing more than their bodies. Particularly when it comes to women who are seen in terms of their biological function rather than as people.

Has anyone on this forum ever had their chromosomes tested, or their skeletons measured, or an invasive test of their reproductive organs in order to use a locker room, bathroom, or before being addressed or treated as the gender they present themselves to be? No.

Women assigned at birth can have any of the attributes you have mentioned above and no one would say that they weren't proper women. Yet when it comes to trans-women you say it does. This is transphobia.

People are so much more than their bodies. We are more than just animals. We form part of a society. We are more than just nature, we are a mix of nature and nurture. Transitioning fully means living life as the gender you identify as. You are an example of what Terfs complain about when they say that a trans-women isn't actually a real woman because they have male privilege. As much as I hate Terfs, I do see their point but it's not a valid reason to negate someone's gender identity. But you do give weight to their argument by claiming to be a woman living as a man.

Mathilda got very upset with me for saying these things, because she doesn't really understand them. She's a bit of a poser. I told her that she was a poser, pretending to know all about issues that she doesn't know anything about. Another transwoman in that discussion agreed that Mathilda sounded like a poser. But that didn't stop Mathilda. Two trans women disagreed with her, and she just kept plowing straight on with her nonsense. Mathilda is that sort of poser who will get mad at trans people who disagree with her on trans issues.

I am a trans-woman who has lived post-op longer than you have lived as a woman (since 2001). I have lived as a woman for more than half my life, certainly all my adult life (since 1996). My friends and colleagues don't ever know that I am trans. I am married to a man and we are looking at adopting children and starting a family. My mother-in-law doesn't even know and I have been with her son for 15 years now. I told him before I slept with him because I knew that it was going to be a long term relationship and didn't want to have to tell him afterwards. This was half a year after getting together and playing sexually together and he never realised despite being intimately involved with my neo-vagina (literally with his face right next to my neo-vag)

My personal experience is that most straight men don't actually care whether you are a trans-woman. They just see you as a woman. That certainly came as a surprise to me after having suffered so much physical violence at the hands of the male sex.

I lost my neo-virginity to a homophobe and transphobe who pursued me. He didn't reveal at the time that he was transphobic or homophobic. He was married with kids and was abusing his position of authority to sleep around. I slept with him on multiple occasions and never told him. He was exploiting me. I was exploiting him. Yet according to you I am a date rapist while he is free of blame. That is misogyny and transphobia. That is why I was, and still am, so furious with you. You are a traitor to the transsexual community for spreading such vile shit.

Do you want us to wear a trans equivalent of the star of David as we walk around or something? Fuck that. I am a woman and I intend to live as a woman until the day I die. If it came to pass that I had to start living as a man again, I just wouldn't. I'd be quite content to kill myself at the earliest opportunity knowing that I had lived my life as myself and that it was now over.

But I do get it. I also wear androgynous clothes. I avoid make-up, despite you claiming that I am saying that this is what it means to be a woman. When you've had to fight to just survive and to exist, it can be difficult to actually start expressing yourself as a woman. This is what I am finally learning going to counselling a long time after you gave up and embraced the transphobia. I fully appreciate that it can feel like you aren't a proper woman if you are not living life as a woman. But I also know that such a belief is wrong and living your life as a woman is the only way to get over that self-doubt. This is why I am now finally embracing expressing myself fully as a woman, because it is a core part of my identity.

You shall not erase me.