Your god is a smelly foriegner

[Chad32]

Given his views against washing hands, and walking on water, he probably never bathed unless his followers washed him themselves. They washed his feet, they may have played some sort of game where they make him "accidentally" fall into a gently flowing river, and keep him in until he stops smelling like shit and lice. They swapped his clothes out as often as possible. That kind of thing.