(March 14, 2020 at 2:24 pm)hayabusa2003 Wrote: New member here. Hello first of all. I am in a situation that I'm afraid is quite delicate and was wondering if anyone else has ever found themselves in a similar situation. This post will be lengthy so bear with me. I found this site and registered to hopefully find someone who can give me some advice. I have been married for almost 12 years. I am an atheist and my wife is a Pentecostal Christian. We have 3 children. When we get together she we was a church goer but wasn't exactly a practicing Christian. Recently she was "born again". She is a part of the Pentecostal church, speaking in tongues, shouting, the whole ball of wax. I grew up in the church as well. I came out as as an atheist in my teen years and distanced myself from the faith as much as I could. But I feel in love with her and have tried to put up with her faith as best I could. We have had some very heated arguments over the years over religion unfortunately. I'm to blame for most of it. Since she was "saved" though, I find myself just wanting to distance myself from her. I grew up watching these ppl practice their religion and I just cannot stomach the fact that she behaves that way in church. I have not seen myself but have heard that she goes all out in church. I have always thought of myself as an ANTI-theist. If you're reading this then you're probably wondering why I married a Christian. Best answer I can give is it just worked out that way. I do love her very much. Recently though I have been thinking very heavily of divorce. Very serious doubts and problems have arisen within myself with my marriage. I'm wondering if we'd both be better off if we just separated. I'm so confused and don't really know how to move forward with my problem. I can't ask her to change because for one she won't, and for another it's not fair to ask to start with. Has anyone else ever dealt with a situation like mine? Civil responses plz, I'm well aware of the severity of my situation so I don't need it pointed out in a cruel manner. Thank you for your time.
As an atheist with an ex wife who was RCC, I hear ya. And you can tell from that it did not end happy.
Or did it? My two kids are godless heathens through no effort of mine beyond leading by example. And when I say "kids" my eldest will be an adult in a few months. Even worse, their mother has started to abandon the faith, which was rather surprising to me, or in other ways not. She was my wife once upon a long ago. I knew the cynical crap she engaged in for no purpose other than career advancement and she was quite upfront about her motivations. Purely venal.
So how did that work in reality? Well, she dragged the reluctant kids to mass every Sunday and left me at home. I refused to provide any support for those cross dressing perverts.
This caused her problems. She had to somehow explain WHY I was not obliged to go to them. This provoked the kids to open that conversation with me. "Why don't you go to mass, Dad?". I could do nothing else but be honest. So I told them that I do go to church when social norms require it. Births Marriages and deaths and so forth. But I don't believe a word of the nutty claims. I go for respect for my friends. Not some imaginary deity.
Of course the Hex wife fought back, right up until the kids point blank refused to go to mass. I have great respect for my kids for having the bottle to do that. It was easy for me, not so much for them.
All of this changed, of course, when morsel #1 turned out to be trans, and morsel #2 turned out to be Bi.
Now her faith condemns them to eternal damnation.
In fairness, She bailed at that point. But it was far too late to salvage the marriage.
Very early in the discovery of the nature of my childrens revalation, they described their fear of the threat of being thrown out on the street by their mother. That is what religion does.
And my response to that? I went and got a key cut for my home and gave it to them with the words "that is an empty threat. You will always have a home".
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