Character-Building Advice.

[Lehrling]

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OK,I'm an older person (I'm now 64) and am also more than a little arrogant a lot of the time,not to mention pompous and patronising.

I DO make an effort with the members here I like and respect. Not so much for people who irritate me,such as most apologists we get here.

Yes I have a Facebook account,on which I have about a dozen carefully selected friends,all off who accept me as I am,as I do them.


I have two criteria for Facebook friends;


(1) I must know the person in real life,and we need to like and respect each other.

OR

(2) I need to have had a lot of dealings with the person on line,and again there needs to be a certain amount of mutual liking and respect.

I do not link with complete strangers or just because we have a mutual friend.


A long preamble because in my opinion, you are not going to quickly or easily change your personality. Nor do I consider doing so to please others a good reason,

In real life,I've found a simple way is to become a good listener.Learn the skill of 'active listening '( look it up)

Simple tricks on line ;try to opine rather than starting with a declarative or dogmatic position.EG" In my opinion,I think, I feel,I believe". Followed by a reason if possible.



To me.evidence is not necessarily proof,the two terms are not synonymous..

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In my opinion,winning an argument does not necessarily mean one is right.

I believe few things are worth heated arguments and flame wars are a waste of time.

Anyone becomes unpleasant on my Facebook account,they get deleted (has never happened so far)

Hope that helps a bit

Thank you very much.
I suppose the root of my problem is that I don't like "just opinions".
But now that I think about it, some of the most widely-accepted facts were stated as opinions. So perhaps I really need to exercise some politics in how I speak.

And don't get me wrong; I don't wish to change because I want to please other people, I want to change because I don't think that I am the kind of person that I would like. >.>

But thank you for the advice; coming from someone who is well past their biological "know-it-all" stage is an advantage to someone like me, who...well, isn't.