[Serious] The Family Atheist

[Abaddon_ire]

You guys are awesome. I found my people!

All I can say is that cutting family ties is usually a bad idea. If they do it, there is not much you can do about it. If you do it, then that burden of choice is squarely yours. Ultimately, nobody involved will be happy about it. The only exception would be if someone is being particularly nasty about it and that does not seem to be the case.

Best advice I can give you is to simply just be yourself. You are still you. Your beliefs have changed, but you are, as you say, still the same person. Keep on doing that.

In time, as they grow accustomed to the new reality, the praying and worrying and hand wringing and pearl clutching will dwindle into a kind of background noise and day to day life will be as before mostly. If they really want to invest time and energy on useless prayers that, to you, is water off a ducks back. You don't have to sit through them, do you? If some family member tells you about their prayers, just say "That's nice" and move right along.

Nah, cutting family ties is definitely not on the table, for me or them. I'm really thankful for that.

I'm looking forward to the fading into background noise for sure. They don't make me sit for prayers, thank goodness - except for meal prayers when my SO and I are at their place. But yeah, I try to take the "we're praying for you" as an extension on "we love you," or as a "we're thinking of you." I know it comes from a similar place.

Weeeellllll, that is what is difficult about it. Their concern is actually genuine and sincere. They believe you are heading for an imaginary hell thanks to an imaginary god. It is all very well that you and I and most here know it is a lot of rot, but because they really believe it, they are concerned that you are consigning yourself to eternal torment. This is a positive thing, in a way. It means that they actually care about you and your welfare.

That is all well and good and indeed as it should be. My question would be does that concern extend into this world, the only one we know exists. If it does then you are solid gold. If it does not, then that is a whole other thing.

To put a texture on that, a few years ago I comprehensively shattered an ankle, Family, friends and neighbours fell over themselves to support me, I had more ready cooked meals coming in the than I could possibly eat. chaffeur service to get me to any critical meeting I had to attend and so forth. Did religion arise in any of it? No, not once. Good people are good regardless of whatever magic book. Some of those I know to be atheists, some I know to be devout christians, some I have no idea what they believe. All of them knew I was a godless heathen. None of it mattered. And I would do the same for them each and every one. And have done so.

I think you should use this as a test of character. Anyone who is willing to change how they treat you on the basis that you do not believe what they believe is at the very least, morally questionable.

As you said, you are still you. Keep doing that.