Fire Marshall BILL, Inspired by another thread.

[Fireball]

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I am sure any layperson can identify with not wanting their nuts or penis to be chopped off to make international news. I am not denying the event did not. It did.

But to what degree and for how long? Even if someone knows about Lizzie Borden, what are the odds that the most who would know about her are historians and not much further than that?

You know about Lorena Bobbit because of your age.

I didn’t claim that people who recognize the name were experts on the case, ffs, just that they’d know why she was famous. You asked a really, REALLY easy question that I happened to know the answer to. Not sure why you’re in such a twist over this. 

But I’m glad you brought up Lizzie Borden. Kind of proves my point.

Yes, I know about Lorena Bobbitt largely because I was an adult when she made the news, but I don’t think that’s all that important. I know a shocking amount about the Roman Republic, which has nothing to do with my age.

You’re getting weirder and weirder as time goes on.

Boru

The cat's been nicking his beer.

Also, here's a little ditty about the Bobbitt bobbing-

Think Beverly Hillbillies intro tune. FTR, there's no such thing as an "ex"-Marine.

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John,

A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone,
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.
Penis, that is.
Clean Cut. Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car taken' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out of the window as she rounded a bend.
Curve, that is.
Tossed the nub. In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "Over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.
Found, that is.
By a fence. Evidence.

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!"
"A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny peed.
Whizzed, that is.
Even seam. Straight stream.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.
Video, that is.
Unexposed. Case Closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?